13 Inappropriate Times to Play Drake’s New Song “Hold on We’re Going Home”
1:34 pm, August 7th | by Colette McIntyre
- During the father-daughter dance at your wedding.
- During the father-daughter dance at the wedding that you have been hired to DJ.
- Throughout the Powerpoint presentation you prepared for your company’s quarterly reports.
- When you’ve finished three bottles of wine and your best friend’s cousin just revealed that she feels like she pushes everyone who loves her away because her dad has a new family in Toledo and hasn’t sent her a birthday card in ten years.
- In the trailer for your student film about child soldiers.
- When your book club asks if you have anything to add to their discussion of The Namesake.
- Towards the end of the voicemail you are drunkenly leaving your ex that begins with you whispering botched Grey’s Anatomy quotes through sobs.
- After you finished watching Lars von Trier’s Antichrist and you are feeling uncertain, uncomfortable, and a bit haunted, like you just walked through a spiderweb.
- In a hospital elevator.
- After giving a speech at the American Birding Association’s fundraising dinner.
- While other audience members are clapping for the middle school choir that just performed its winter concert.
- In the middle of a conversation you are having with your mother about your life’s direction and whether you are going to start paying rent.
- When you are, in fact, not yet going home.