A widely influential international fiscal guru was arrested in Manhattan this morning for allegedly assaulting a maid in a swanky hotel, according to the New York Post. No, you’re not experiencing some horrible new version of deja vu. This arrest actually happened.

Just a couple weeks after former IMF Director Dominique Strauss-Kahn allegedly attacked a hotel cleaning staff member at his pricey hotel, the former Chairman of Egypt’s Bank of Alexandria was nabbed on charges that he trapped and assaulted a maid at the Pierre hotel.

Let’s start this Tuesday morning off right: Vodka news.

Absolut unveiled the latest in its “City Series,” a collection of vodkas inspired by a town — or, in the case of its Brooklyn vodka, a borough.

The newest town to be honored, San Francisco, is commemorated with a “blend of grape, dragon fruit and papaya,” according to a press release sent today. We suppose this sounds rather tasty — and much better than a hemp-blend vodka, which would have been the first idea to pop into our minds.

Most people thought LinkedIn’s IPO was an unsustainable, bloated bubble waiting to explode. Tech titan and early Facebook investor Peter Thiel thinks it was undervalued. You know, potato, po-tah-to.

Sure, jaws dropped earlier this month when the site’s IPO was initially priced at $45 per share — and then skyrocketed up to $120 per share. But Thiel, also a LinkedIn investor, was not among those impressed by the momentum; in fact, he thinks its a sign that Wall Street dissed LinkedIn.

At last, the business card that would stop Patrick Bateman in his tracks. Known as the “Cubed Card,” it provides additional content (text, images, animation, etc.) when you hold it up to a webcam, according to Mashable. It’s an interesting way to stop others throwing away your business card every three to five weeks when they’re cleaning out their wallets… which they’ll probably do eventually anyway, but still.

It was a symbolic victory for Comcast’s Steve Burke when, earlier this month, NBC Sports boss Dick Ebersol announced he was leaving the network. For starters, Burke had gotten rid of the last of the Jeff Zucker loyalists and, on top of that, he did it without overtly firing the longtime NBC veteran, which probably would have made him look like kind of a jerk. Burke’s been dealing fairly well with the murky waters of broadcast television — his pet project, “The Voice,” has been a ratings success.

But his luck might be starting to turn.

Sure, there’s been plenty of speculation about what Oprah Winfrey will do next, now that her eponymous talk show has ended. But what about her fans? Those rabid, freebie-loving, Oprah jackals have been abandoned! Thankfully, Funny or Die has come up with a few options for the post-Oprapocalypse — including the “George Lopez Show” and the viewing gallery of an operation room. Check out the video after the jump.

There’s a lot of reasons that Goldman Sachs would hire Judd Gregg to become an international advisor. Some of them happen to be sort of sketchy.

As a press release from the bank points out, Gregg was a three-term senator (and a Republican, so they know he’s not a mutant). Also, while in the senate, he was a member of Appropriations; Banking, Housing and Urban Affairs, etc., so he knows something about money.

And, oh yea, he was the lead republican representative for the Troubled Assets Relief Program, which granted Goldman $10 billion.

Mark Zuckerberg has found the way to your heart. And no, it’s not by respecting your privacy, creating features you love or working with your best interests at heart. He just wears you down. At least, that’s what he says is the key to his success, according to CNET.

The Facebook founder told a packed crowd at the e-G8 forum that he’s seen a blowback on nearly every site addition since the social network’s founding. And how does he manage the bad press? By waiting for the masses to get over it.

There’s a lot one could accomplish while on house arrest, really. With all that free time on your hands, why not pick up a new hobby, catch up on your correspondence or, you know, spend some time thinking about how you ended up there in the first place? The possibilities are limitless!

Former IMF Director Dominique Strauss-Kahn, for instance, has decided to take this time to work on his physique. Well, it would seem that way, at least, given his grocery list, according to the New York Post. The alleged sex criminal had a shipment of skinless chicken breast, Lean Cuisine and Crystal Light dropped off at his $50,000-a-month Tribeca pad — which we were totally inside roughly a week-and-a-half-ago (!!!), by the way. This word comes from one of the many delivery guys who have blabbed to the press about Strauss-Kahn’s goings on over the last week.

Okay, moguls aren’t all business. Sometimes billionaires just want to chill out, throw a few ‘dogs on the grill, and invite a few friends over for a Memorial Day party. As lucky owners of some serious disposable income, however, they might do it a little differently than your average Joe. Here’s our idea of a perfectly over the top summer barbecue fit for… well, a mogul — just in time for the big holiday.