Your Guide to Gambling on Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway
10:37 pm, April 29th | by Amy Tennery
The masses are already descending upon Omaha for an event so momentous it’s like the lunar landing and the Beatles’ U.S. debut all rolled into one: The annual Berkshire Hathaway Stockholder Conference.
Don’t laugh. This event is rare opportunity to hear the Oracle of Omaha, himself, talk — a lot. Warren Buffett holds an epic, multi-hour Q & A session every year, which we imagine is something like listening to Steven Tyler explain why he’s awesome. But better.
And while this year’s conference is tinged with a bit of scandal, it’s a fantastic opportunity to engage in a little gawky, under-the-table wagering on what might transpire. Why wouldn’t you? It’s more fun than Vegas!
So, without further ado, we present the Mogulite Berkshire Hathaway Oddsmaker. We hope this will help you place your bets for the coming weekend.
Odds that Warren Buffett will give a definitive statement on the economic outlook — 8:1
Buffett is known a definitive voice on the state of finances in the U.S. Duh. That being said, he’s also known to temper his statements — and with good sense. He was widely reported as saying the 2009 economy was “in shambles”. But Buffett later spoke out on that reporting, arguing that his comments were taken out of context. Then, in 2010, he was feeling a bit more bullish on things. He might be an oracle, but he’s often an unpredictable one. All we know for sure? The country is waiting with baited breath. Well, at least we are.
Odds that the Sokol controversy will overshadow the entire event — 4:1
Yes, the Sokol “incident” has unfolded at an unfortunate time. But we’re guessing tracking this year’s Berkshire Hathaway will be kind of like watching Martha Stewart’s daytime show. In the back of your mind, you know she went to prison for misleading her shareholders — but really, you still want to know how to make a roast that doesn’t suck. And Buffett has the answers.
Odds that Buffett will weave at least three folksy aphorisms into the Q & A and/or any public addresses at any time — even money
Let’s face it: this one’s a lock. No one anywhere would ever be on the wrong side of this bet.
Odds that Buffett’s age will dissuade people from listening to what he has to say — 40:1
One CNN Money analyst has suggested that Buffett’s age (he’s 80) has dulled his insights. “Let’s face it — some people lose a bit of edge at that age,” he said. Um, sorry, but no. Was Ed Asner any less grouchy in “Up”? Is Hugh Hefner any worse at picking out what women should… okay, never mind. The point is, we’re listening. And we think you should too.