Whatever You Do, Please Don’t Put Your Child In A “Bikini Onesie”
1:30 pm, July 3rd | by Amy Tennery
Dressing up your kid to look like a grown-up: Cute under certain circumstances. Dressing your kid to look like she has a sexy, adult, bikini-clad body: Horrible, godawful.
Let’s back up: Here’s a summertime-themed onesie for your tot, manufactured by Bon Bebe. It emblazons a woman’s fully developed body, breasts and all, across your child’s cheats. Please, whatever you do, don’t buy it:
Proponents of the (at best, tacky) ensemble say it’s all in good fun. People with operational frontal lobes say it’s grossly, horribly inappropriate. Guess which side I’m on?
For a moment I thought, “Well, maybe if it weren’t a picture of an adult body with boobs on it, it wouldn’t be quite so bad.” But no, a child’s body would have been just as freaky and weird.
It’s like a horrifying, child-sexualizing take on the tuxedo t-shirt. It’s just bad. And sure, we live in the era of child beauty pageants, so maybe this isn’t as immediately jarring as it would be if we weren’t all completely numb to the concept of things like putting hair extensions on little girls. Even so, do you really want to describe any outfit you put your child in as “kind of like a tuxedo t-shirt?” No, you do not.