Breaking: Ladies Not Super Concerned About Creepy Dudes’ Feelings
1:00 pm, September 9th | by Sarah Devlin
On Friday, Pandagon’s Amanda Marcotte started an online discussion about harassment, and it essentially devolved into a giant pity party for creepy dudes whose feelings were hurt when they acted, you know, creepy and someone told them so. Instead of trying to not be so creepy anymore, they proposed a novel solution: ladies should just be nicer about all the creepiness!
Marcotte writes in response:
…Let’s entertain for a moment this complaint about the legions of bitches roaming the earth, waiting for men to be nice to them so they can yell at them. Let’s say it’s true that this happens.
So what? What does that have to do with harassment?
Nothing is what. Even if there are all these women roaming around, eagerly looking for chances to call men “creeps” for no reason whatsoever, that has nothing to do with the acceptability of harassment. That in no way negates a woman’s right not to be bothered by someone she doesn’t want to talk to. It in no way justifies cat-calling. It literally has nothing to do with the subject of harassment, nor does it have anything to do with harassment policies, which are about making sure a woman has recourse if a man won’t leave her alone.
Marcotte is skeptical of the commenters who chimed in with stories about being yelled at by women for “no reason,” especially given that the vast majority of women are usually not screaming at people left and right 24/7 for saying hello or smiling at them or whatever innocuous story was presented to the online community in the thread in order to mask all the creeping. She even goes so far as to break down the typical verbal and non-verbal cues in a social interaction that make it very clear when someone does or does not want to be talked to.
…And yet. The first comment, from “Zen Poseur”: “Your argument is invalid because Chewbacca was impolite to the Ewoks as they tried to roast him alive. Chewbacca is the real bigot. Your argument is invalid.”
circle of life internet.