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Why Do Women Have Breasts, Anyway?


Steven Platek, an evolutionary neuroscientist from Georgia Gwinnett College, showed college men pictures of breasts while he scanned their brains in an MRI machine. Not so surprisingly, he found the breast images triggered the “reward centers” in the volunteers’ brains. “Most of the images capture the attention of the male so much so that it will distract his mental and cognitive processes in ways that could be dysfunctional in other capacities,” Platek told me. The Urban Dictionary refers to this state as booblivious.

Okay, so men are distracted by breasts. All of this sounds familiar to us in Western cultures, but there are problems with making sweeping statements about evolution based on studies about male behavior in pubs. For one thing, I am still hung up on the nubility hypothesis, which might as well be called the sag hypothesis. But speaking from personal experience, I can report my breasts actually got bigger and fuller after pregnancy. I really can’t say they are sagging, not yet anyway. I am well past the age of what anthropologists call “peak reproductive value.” Does a man really need breasts to tell him a woman is getting on in years? Aren’t there more obvious signs that don’t require awkward social glances? And as anyone who’s been to a public shower or springtime college campus can tell you, there is an enormous, and I mean enormous, variety of breast sizes and shapes out there. I’m talking 300 to 500 percent differences in volume, and these are in women of roughly the same age. What other body part is so variable, I ask? If breasts were such important communicators, wouldn’t they be more on the same page?

Further complicating the picture, there is also great variety in men’s tastes. Barnaby conceded that male preferences aren’t as universal as he’d hoped. He expected all men to prefer breasts of a similar size—namely, big. But that doesn’t always happen. In his earlier data from the eye-tracker, which he published in Archives of Sexual Behavior, the same number of men preferred medium breasts to large breasts, and some men were most enthusiastic about small breasts. And these were all straight, white men from New Zealand. Other studies have shown that Azande and Ganda tribesmen prefer long and pendulous breasts, whereas the Manus and Maasai prefer more rounded ones. One study found that Western men prefer curvier women during a recession, perhaps for their suggestion of comfort and ample calories. In his own study, Barnaby found that men simply liked staring at all breasts, regardless of size or how attractive the image was rated.

If breasts serve as such a great signal of a woman’s fitness, so should the areola, posits Barnaby. Younger women who have never had children have lighter areolas, so Barnaby expected men to prefer lighter pigmentation when they rated images in another study. He was surprised to learn that many men like darker, post-pregnancy areolar pigment. Similarly, data on preferences for areolar size were all over the map. And while most men seem to like breasts, in many places breasts are merely pedestrian. Not every culture has a Hooters. The nape of the neck is unbearably sexy in Japan. Bootylicious is where it’s at in parts of western Africa and South America. When my son was little, he used to mortify me by going around the house singing a Sir Mix-a-Lot song from the Shrek soundtrack: “I like big butts and I cannot lie.”

Barnaby knows about these inconsistencies, and they cause him some academic heartburn. But while he acknowledged the data are far from conclusive, he still thinks they hold up. “The amount of visual attention and the amount of evidence that men are attracted to breasts would lead you to think something is going on in evolutionary terms with mate choice and breast morphology.”

Barnaby is just the latest in a long line of scientists who have been thinking about how the breasts evolved in step with the male gaze for at least half a century, ever since Desmond Morris published his famous and influential book, The Naked Ape, in 1967. (Morris, a British zoologist, is also known for choreographing the gestures and grunts of the actors in Quest for Fire.) In The Naked Ape, he attempted to explain to a popular audience why humans act the way they do. Describing a prehistoric life very much like the suburban dead-zone of the mid-twentieth century, Morris wrote how out of the Pleistocene emerged “Man the Hunter,” unique among primates, who came home after a hard day of stalking beasts and needed his hearth-bound woman to show him a stimulating set of knockers. Without them, he’d have little inclination to stick around and provision the family. (Never mind that hunter-gatherer women procured most of the daily food for their families; that research came later and Morris still has not adjusted his breast-origin hypothesis.)

Since Mrs. Mighty Hunter had to be constantly sexy for this scenario to work, she needed a big front-and-center sexual organ different from what all other primates who did not walk upright on two legs had. Those primates signal sexual readiness, their estrus, with swollen buttocks or labia. “Can we,” asked Morris, “if we look at the frontal regions of the females of our species, see any structures that might possibly be mimics of the ancient display of hemispherical buttocks and red labia? The answer stands out as clearly as the female bosom itself. The protuberant, hemispherical breasts of the female must surely be copies of the fleshy buttocks, and the sharply defined red lips around the mouth must be copies of the red labia.”

I may never again think of lipstick the same way.

Today, The Naked Ape reads like an embarrassing manifesto of male dominance, presented at exactly the same time the women’s lib movement was heating up. Just as Linnaeus appeared to be pushing a political agenda in naming us Mammalia (nudging women to act more maternal during the Enlightenment), perhaps Morris was too. On the other hand, maybe Linnaeus and Morris and the whole lot of them were really just breast men.

NEXT: “Try telling some feminist anthropologists that breasts exist because of men, and you might get whacked in the head by a rubber Australopithecus pelvis.”

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  • Anonymous

    Irony; 

    Writing an article that touches the issue of the attractiveness of breasts but not putting enough pictures of breasts to attract readers/commenters. 

    Interesting article but more boobs please. 

  • GrammaticallyConservative

    Really?

  • Anonymous

    Yes….get on track….boobs rule the internet!

    I do not have a problem with the article. I just feel, that more boobs would have given this article more hits

  • GrammaticallyConservative

    iSigh!

  • Anonymous

    ????

  • http://www.youtube.com/cherubicwindigo Laura

    I’m a bi-wo and I look at breasts first, especially if they are just out there for the world to see. If dudes played up their junk (like they did when they wore codpeices) then everyone would be looking at their junk first.

  • Anonymous

    I’m with rudeboy. So sorry if this is immature, but boys will be boys – and the girls know this.

  • GrammaticallyConservative

    I don’t want to belabor the point, and of course I understand it’s natural, but I thought nature was that thing we were put on this earth to rise above.  Do you have problems listening to boobless men discuss issues?  Either way I agree, there are boobs all over the internet which is why I find it striking that 80% of the internet isn’t enough for you to read an article about women’s bodies without pictures.

    But no disrespect, I do understand.

  • Anonymous

    I have appreciated all AND had the good fortune to ‘love’ many of disimilar size and shape. All are wonderful in their own unique way (in truth, if you ladies wouldn’t ‘hide’ them from us and then only ‘permit a touch’ on occasion, they’d have less — still — appeal!)

  • Anonymous

    How many comments does this article have? 

    I can bet it with my life that many guys clicked the link to this article and then skimmed for pictures of boobs. When they say no boobs, some lost the patience to read the article. 

    One can never get enough of boobs. 

    Everybody remembers the six-boobed girl from Total Recall but few can even remember the plot. 

    Dont be naive about the power of boobs….embrace them…..sorry embrace it!

  • garotasurfista

    hmm i have tiny breasts but tons of men trying to date me all the time…..outlying data point???

  • Anonymous

     It’s because you are Brazilian!

  • Frodo Baggins

    A what?

  • Timothy Earle

    The argument for sexual selection is often really weak. This case is a prime example of people focusing on the result, entirely oblivious to the cause. I think it is a distinctly male way of thinking to treat the symptoms. 

  • Anonymous

    I’ve noticed that the preferred breast size is inversely proportional to the number of sisters the subject has.  Boys (males) without sisters tend to prefer bigger boobs than boys with sisters.

    This is not to say that some boys don’t like big boobs.  It’s just that big boobs are a greater mystery — a bigger prize — to people who haven’t been around boobs all their lives.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003105863276 Political Dookie

    This picture sums up all your need to know about female-female relations.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BFGF5RNRAJ5ZGJWR52Q4LRJ6YY Matthew

     I read the entire excerpt, I actually couldn’t tell you what the pictures were of, nor do I care. I clicked because the subject seemed interesting not in some vague hope for sexual arousal. in fact it is quite well written and stands on its own without the need for gratuitous pictures. You may also not have noticed, but there are roughly 8 billion other websites where you can find pictures of women’s breasts – if that is your thing.

  • GrammaticallyConservative

    I understand.  And she had three breasts, not six.

  • Anonymous

    Yes, women should have two of them. Size is entirely subjective. But displaying them is a choice every woman makes. If sou want attention, hang them out there. It’s just that simple. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/hermadite Alan Abel

    Breastfeeding is an incestuous relationship between a mother and baby. Just pump out the milk, mothers, and stop using your naughty nipples. Otherwise, the infant grows up with an oral addiction that leads to smoking, drinking and even homosexuality! In one instance, Monica Lewinisky’s addiction led all the way to the White House. There is presently a campaign to BAN BREASTFEEDING. Finally, how do you explain to young children, who accidently enter mom’s bedroom, why daddy is still breast feeding! Also, millions of women are getting off by breast feeding and faking orgasm with their mates.
    (www.abelraisescain.com)

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/IDZQOZOR4YJBQKSWTYYBK7Z3IE E. L.

    Just like Rodney says, “Show TYhem to Me!!!”  Any size is good, all are interesting and you find them all to be an endless pleasure to enjoy, visually or tactially.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/Q7LNZCYMGVIHMZTMNHCYGYXUOM Alex

    Males are obsessed with breasts..well the photo at the top of the article shows the reality. Women are as obsessed with breasts as any man.  Go to a singles bar and watch who the women in the bar notice first and look at longer, the men or the other women. 

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