Charlize Theron can dance?! Anne Hathaway changed dresses at the last minute?! Quvenzhane Wallis didn’t fall alseep during the four hour ceremony (I sure did)?! It was a big night for women at the Oscars, so let’s go over some of the most important moments.

The Oscars are tonight, aka the Super Bowl for Women. And if the Super Bowl can have 40 pre-parties then so can the Oscars. One of those is the Women in Film soiree, hosted by Women in Film, a non-profit organization dedicated to women’s achievement in the entertainment industry. Of course, the event was glamourous and replete with swag and beautiful starlets like Jessica Chastain, but it also drew attention to an important issue: women in the film industry need to promote, encourage and actually hire each other.

Those in the Hollywood scene weren’t surprised when reports of Jesse James’s affair surfaced mere days after his wife Sandra Bullock won her first Oscar for The Blind Side. “It’s the Best Actress curse,” everyone whispered, alluding to the longstanding belief that there’s a casual relationship between winning an Academy Award and having one’s relationship unravel. The Best Actress statuette isn’t the only Oscar with bad juju — according to the grapevine, winning the Best Supporting Actress Oscar turns into a long-term loss. Once a woman wins Best Supporting Actress, it’s believed that she’ll never work again, the award dooming her to the margins of Hollywood. (Insert requisite spooky noise here.)

Little girls often dream of growing up to be princesses, doctors and President of the United States. I don’t think any of them dream of growing up and getting paid for causing drama at spa resorts, emphasized finger pointing and being the proud owner of 16 one-shouldered dresses.

Good news for all you bangs-sporting, Sweet Valley High-reading, scarf-knitting, teacup dress-wearing, delicate gossamer spirits out there: Zooey Deschanel and her Hello Giggles partner Sophia Rossi launched a production company, and it just signed a two-year first-look deal with 20th Century Fox TV, the producers of Deschanel’s New Girl. Now you may be able to live your twee life and watch it too.

Mila Kunis isn’t pregnant or married, yet she already announced that she intends to quit acting when she has a family.

…Until they learn to loosen up and have some FUN once in a while. Take a wild guess at the gender of the person who gets to teach them that lesson.

Katie Holmes didn’t have an official presentation at New York Fashion Week, but her fashion line Holmes & Yang did schedule a private showing of the latest collection for press. However, the blizzard that hit New York on Friday meant early school closings for New York City kids, which includes little Miss Suri Cruise. I’m sure Holmes has a bevy of people on her staff who could have picked up her daughter, but instead she chose to do it herself.

“She hasn’t been home to her mother’s house in over a month and a half.”

Even for a two-time Oscar nominee, there’s no “Silver Lining” in having one’s dress rip at a major awards ceremony.