Because puppies are way cuter to watch than a bunch of sweaty dudes tearing up a football field.

We can’t help you with that, but we can help you answer truthfully when someone asks if you did anything the day after Thanksgiving besides nap and eat half a left over pecan pie for breakfast.

A few minutes ago, I realized just how incredibly naive I am. I thought the horrendous public shaming of Kristen Stewart had finally died down, but I was terribly mistaken. Critics are far from done stoning her for kissing someone other than long-time boyfriend Rob Pattinson, and they’ve just outdone themselves with a wildly offensive t-shirt bearing the words, “Kristen Stewart is a trampire.”

I don’t know about you, but I was a rather peculiar child. The same was true for my friends, all of which happily played Barbie games with me until our first year of high school. There were dolls for everything back in the day (the Olsen twins, Spice Girls, you name it), but missing from Mattel’s offerings was Drag Queen Barbie, which will finally be released this holiday season.

Summer is coming to a close, and though it’s been thoroughly fulfilling, the season has felt rather meaningless without frequent updates on Hank, the Maine Coon running for Virginia Senate. He brightened up our dreary spring with his fresh ideas and feisty spirit, so we’re elated he’s coming back strong with an upcoming event. The cat, who is the official mascot for a team playing in the Congressional Softball League and has already raised more than $10,000 for animal resuce, will appear at the playoff game on Saturday at Beulah Park in Alexandria, Virginia.

Are you feeling pretty darn unproductive right now? You have a free pass for the rest of the afternoon, as it’s Lazy Day. For just one day, it’s perfectly acceptable to operate at a low speed and maybe even duck out early.

If you’ve ever had your doubts, the popularity of a new “weight loss perfume” is proof that some will do anything to slim down.

France, land of skinny women and orgasmic carbs, is about to launch Prends-moi (French for “take me”), the world’s first pound-crushing fragrance.

THE WORK DAY IS COMING TO A CLOSE, BUT THERE IS STILL PLENTY OF TIME TO CELEBRATE INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY, WHICH ROLLS AROUND JUST TWICE A YEAR.

It has been way too long since actress Keira Knightley has really been at the center of things, so my night was made when I saw her in the new trailer for Anna Karenina, which hits theaters just before Thanksgiving. You may love summer, but you’ll have this movie to look forward to when the weather cools down and beach weather becomes a past time.

Don’t lie: You have an office wish list. And this needs to be on it.