How To Date A Wall Street Woman

1:04 pm, February 9th | by Hillary Reinsberg

Yesterday, we encountered a beast in the form of a rather shocking CNBC column that advised “How To Date A Wall Street Man.” Sample advice: “be sexy” and “don’t get upset if he checks his BlackBerry or takes a call during a date.” My oh my, now we know how to date a Wall Street man! But what about the men who want to do date Wall Street women? Where’s their advice column? Look no further, sad puppies: it’s right here!

Since CNBC‘s article did such an exemplary job at dispensing advice based on cringe-worthy stereotypes of Wall Street men, our reliance on absurd characterizations of Wall Street women, it should be noted, will be no less extreme.

Without further ado:

1. Don’t buy her anything nice. This woman already makes so many zillions of dollars and don’t you dare make her feel like she can’t buy it herself, you competitive sloth. Now shoo!

2. Also, she’s paying for dinner. It’s going on the corporate card. This is a business transaction, remember?

3. If you insist on buying her something, she’ll take a nice designer suit. Wall Street Woman does not “do” casual wear and wears suits with shoulder pads even on the weekends. The 80s are back.

4. Don’t ask to go back to her apartment. She lives in her office.

5. While we’re at it, do not ask if she has children. Wall Street Woman goes to work and is therefore a terrible mother.

6. Don’t talk about sports or other “guy” things. Wall Street Woman goes to work and is therefore not charmed by your boyish interests or the success of your Fantasy Draft. Get yourself a Bloomberg terminal or get out.

TAGS: how to date a wall street man | how to date a wall street woman