Fact: Natasha Lyonne Was Once Felt Up by Marlon Brando
1:55 pm, September 25th | by Colette McIntyre
Natasha Lyonnes: they’re just like us! Natasha Lyonnes’ bodies produce amino acids — our bodies produce amino acids! Natasha Lyonnes have faces — we have faces! Natasha Lyonnes have their boobs grabbed without consent by deteriorating film stars who looked like Marjory The Trash Heap‘s uncle but who were once so smoldering and masculine and working class that just the sight of some dirt on their dungarees was enough to make Tallulah Bankhead’s maidenhead go full steam ahead — we have….well, we have our boobs grabbed by far less distinguished, still pretty garbage heap-y dudes.
Natasha Lyonne revealed on last night’s Conan that Marlon Brando felt her up on the set of Scary Movie 2. (The fact that Marlon Brando was in Scary Movie 2 speaks volumes for his frame of mind.) While we don’t usually elicit any pleasure from non-consensual boob touching, we’re just so glad to see Lyonne happy, healthy, and garnering praise for her scene-chewing turn as Nicky Nichols in Orange Is The New Black.