Full House Without Michelle is Eerily Excellent
4:23 pm, February 19th | by Kady Ruth Ashcraft and Colette McIntyre
It’s no secret that around the dawn of Y2K, producers concocted a surefire plan to optimize Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen’s cuteness level: if the twins were to carry a movie, their characters could not have two happy and healthy parents. How can audiences fully grasp the Olsens’ affability and precociousness if said traits weren’t balanced with past experiences of loss and suffering? It’s called the Annie Equation. (Well…it’s now called the Annie Equation because we just named it.) Don’t believe us? Log onto the World Wide Web, watch To Grandmother’s House We Go, How the West Was Fun, It Takes Two, and Billboard Dad, and let us know if Mary Kate and Ashley ever aren’t orphans or children of a single parent.
Today the Internet took part in a different thought experiment: we know that when their parents are away (in heaven), the Olsens play terrifically, but what happens when the twins are the ones who are no longer around? The eerily brilliant and darkly comedic Full House Without Michelle does exactly what the title promises — it portrays a Tanner household in which Michelle doesn’t exist.
Suddenly Danny Tanner’s optimism and whimsy are a delusional coping mechanism and Stef’s cute snarkiness merely a mask for her underlying anxieties.
Ultimately we’d choose to marathon the actual sitcom over this ghostly recut, probably because we steadfastly avoid dealing with our own psychological shortcomings. We’re comedians!