Game of Thrones Feminist Leaderboard
11:41 am, May 6th | by Colette McIntyre
HBO’s Game of Thrones has something for everybody — zombies, dragons, manipulation, sex, wolves, Peter Dinklage, violence, politics, homoerotic subtext, songs by super hip indie bands, more sex — but what we love most are Westeros’ badass women: the dames of thrones fight, plot, snark, strive, and are as multifaceted and intriguing as their male counterparts. Each week, The Jane Dough will rank the GoT ladies according to how hard they ruled in last night’s episode. Start your Mondays feeling like the commander of dragons, rather than the bleary-eyed version of yourself you usually bring to work at the beginning of the week. When you play the game of feminism, you win or you…well, don’t win.
- Sitting in the middle of the freezing North wilderness, putting her own life at risk for her baby, and schooling Sam, the physical manifestation of this noise, in fire building, Gilly is a minor character but a pretty major feminist. 4 points.
Osha and Meera
- I love that the lives of four men depend on these two brusque women. They kill the meal and cook it too. 5 points.
- Oh, stop fighting! I feel like I am watching my mommy and daddy fight in the middle of the kitchen — I don’t want to go to two separate houses for Christmas! Can’t you two bond or something, considering that you are both strong ladies defying gender expectations and taking care of fragile men? You don’t have to compete for
my affectionI mean, power; power loves you both equally! -3 points.
- Ygritte, keep on reminding Jon Snow that he knows nothing — even though he did something amazin’ with his tongue — and that you can bruise his balls in about half a second. Never change. 4 points.
- “Face, tits, balls…I hit them right where I wanted to.” Arya, you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when other Starks are lame. 3 points.
- “I don’t like that woman.” “That’s because you’re a girl.” “What does that have to do with anything?” Yeah, what does that have to do with anything?! 2 points for always keeping ‘em in check.
- Calling the Brotherhood out on their gold-getting, calling Melisandre a witch — much like Atlanta-based rapper Bone Crusher, my little Arya, you ain’t never scared. 3 points.
- Like it or not, Melisandre always get what she wants. I can’t fault her for that. (Even though she did manage to swoop in and break up my OTP, Aria and Gendry, in a manner of minutes…ugh.) And she didn’t even flinch when Aria started hollering at her. 4 points
- One somewhat forceful line in the entire episode. At this point, I’ll take what I can get when it comes to poor Catelyn. 1 point.
- It is a rare-enough thing, a woman who lives up to her reputation, but I had no doubt that my beloved Olenna would prove herself to be quite a match for ol’ viperous Tywin Lannister. Olenna goes toe-to-toe with Poppa Lanni (I’m sweatin’, woo!) and isn’t even fazed when the topic of Loras’ sexual orientation is broached. (Best line of the night: “a sword-swallower through and through!”) While Tywin may have won the battle and Loras’ hand, Olenna suggested that he romped around with stable boys and brought up Cersei’s incest rumors, so I wouldn’t exactly call this a loss for the Queen of Thorns. 7 points.
- Ugh, things are terrible for Sansa. She sat and listened to her crush Loras talk dreamily about flowers, dresses and gold brocade and thought nothing of it and then, minutes later, after declaring that she was “very happy,” got told that she is now engaged to Tyrion Lannister and she ain’t never leaving “the most terrible place there is.” Sansa’s tears while watching Littlefinger’s ship leave King’s Landing without her just broke my heart. I know enough to not kick someone when they’re down so no points.
- Cersei is being “shipped off to hell,” as she called it, because of her own dumb plan. If she wasn’t so jealous of Margaery or had more control of her little demon of a son, NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING. I can’t with you, Cersei. I. Can’t. -1000 points because I’m not angry, I’m disappointed.
The Biggest Feminist This Week: It was a rough week for the ladies of Game of Thrones: Littlefinger’s protégé Ros was left looking like the strawman Arya practiced shooting arrows at, Brienne had to wear a dress, and Sansa and Cersei are just cogs in the wedding-industrial complex. The feminist moments were few and far between, so I took refuge in GoT‘s resident rebel girl, Arya Stark. When the going gets tough, you best believe that Arya’s moxie gets going. For being the only Stark with some fire (not you, Lord of Light) left, Arya is the biggest feminist this week.
Our Takeaway: Speak hard and carry a tiny sword named Needle.