7 Tips For Being Happy According to Gwyneth Paltrow
3:00 pm, April 21st | by
This week Gwyneth Paltrow topped Star Magazine’s annual poll of the 20 most irritating personalities in film, music and television. Not the best contest to win. Gwyneth gets a lot of criticism for promoting her lifestyle choices which are all about being as healthy as you can be which seems to require a lot of money and time and knowing Madonna (and a butt load of quinoa.) This tends to annoy people. But I do think we have to applaud Gwynnie for always being true and promoting her brand which is now really all about living a healthy life. Let’s look at Gwyneth Paltrow’s tips for being happy.
1.Follow a diet that requires millions of dollars and the discipline of Ghandi
As far as I can tell Gwyneth is only allowed to eat grass. She shuns coffee, alcohol, eggs, shellfish, potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, aubergines, corn, wheat, meat or anything processed. Wow. Remind me to never go to her place for a Super Bowl party.
2.Wear shorts to every fancy event
This is actually a smart move because Gwyneth is trying to show that her healthy lifestyle works. She does so by wearing tiny shorts to every single media event ever. Sometimes she mixes it up and wears a tiny dress.
3.Stay in amazing shape
In a way Gwyneth has sort of become the Jane Fonda of our generation. She does do a good job of talking about how much she works at it, but this still upsets people because it shows she puts a ton of time into it, which not everyone has. "I've found what works for me. I know if I put in an hour and a half, five days a week, I'm good. If I'm on vacation and, like, "F--- it, I'm not working out," I know what to do when I get back. A lot of women think, "Oh, my God, I could never get there," but I don't think that's true. It's simply relative to how much you put into it."
4.Keep your family healthy no matter what it takes
Gwyneth got some criticism when she recently said, "Sometimes when my family is not eating pasta, bread or processed grains like white rice, we’re left with that specific hunger that comes with avoiding carbs."
5.Spend $50,000 on your clothes
In March Gwyneth came up with outfit suggestions for all your different life activities on GOOP. She had looks for play, work, party, walking with Madonna, having a poetry circle with Robert Downey Jr., etc., The key theme of all these outfits was money. Tons of money.
For work, Gwyneth thinks a $855 McQ Alexander McQueen skirt paired with a T by Alexander Wang sweater (estimated to be around $200) and Acne boots for $495. The clothes, all from Net-a-porter, are meant to be ‘inspiration for outfits for all aspects of your busy life’, according to her website. Hopefully you are making a lot of money in your busy life since this outfit alone will cost upwards of $1500.
6.Stand in fields a lot looking really rustic
Now that Gwyneth has adopted the Madonna school of thought where you just become British she seems to be outside on farms a lot in gardening outfits (from Madewell) because that is what healthy people do.