John Bolton Stars In Cathy Cartoon Of His Own Making
1:15 pm, December 19th | by Colette McIntyre
“Senate testimony! AACK!” That was my impression of former State Department official and U.N ambassador John Bolton impersonating Secretary of State Hilary Clinton. Some explanation: after Bolton’s claims that Clinton faked an illness in order to avoid her scheduled testimony on the Benghazi attack , I’m now certain that Bolton understands women solely in terms of Cathy cartoon strips. Faking illnesses, drowning sorrows in chocolate, constantly trying to lose ten pounds — women, amirite Bolton?
This past weekend, a dehydrated Clinton, still recovering from a recent stomach illness, fainted and sustained a concussion. Senate Foreign Relations Committee Chairman John Kerry (D-Mass) insisted that Clinton, “given her condition”, “could not and should not” appear to testify at Thursday’s congressional hearings on the September 11th attack on a U.S compound in Benghazi, Libya, that resulted in the deaths of four Americans, including the U.S ambassador. Clinton’s deputies Tom Nixes and Bill Burns testified in the Secretary’s absence.
In an interview with Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren, Bolton claimed that Clinton’s concussion was nothing more than a “diplomatic illness”, invented so that she could avoid heading to Capitol Hill. Bolton alleged that “every foreign service office in every foreign ministry in the world” fabricate illnesses when “they don’t want to go to a meeting or a conference or an event,” perhaps giving us valuable insight into John Bolton’s own work ethic.
Unsurprisingly, State Department officials have dismissed Bolton’s claims: on Tuesday, Department spokeswoman Victoria Nuland told reporters that Bolton’s allegations were “completely untrue”. “I can’t speak to his personal motivation,” Nuland continued. “I can assure you that he’s not privy to any inside information.”
Frankly, I’m impressed that Bolton didn’t try to suggest that Clinton had “the PMS” or was too busy streaming the finale of Gossip Girl to show up to her testimony. At least accusing someone of faking “diplomatic illness” is throwing gender-neutral shade. Equality!