Advice Piece On How To ‘Avoid Becoming Irrelevant With Age’ Exactly As Horrifying As It Sounds

The worst part about reading “5 Steps For Women To Avoid Becoming Irrelevant With Age,” a misogynist, ageist new “advice” piece from Elite Daily, isn’t absorbing the actual content; it’s realizing that some people actually believe this crap.

The piece begins:

We, women of Generation Y, are at the top of our games. We are gorgeous, captivating, and full of life. Older women envy our perfect skin and carefree lifestyles, and younger women admire the glamorous world we have created. Our youth centered culture has put us in the spotlight. And we love it. However, the reality is that these “older women” are our quickly approaching future.

We, women of Generation Y, are assholes and we know it. Got it.

Moving on:

By our culture’s standards, it is like women have an expiration date. At 21, you are obviously more “mature” than your freshmen competition. At 25, they say that you are past your peak. And after 35, well unless you are an A-list celebrity, you have already ceased to be relevant.

This paragraph comes dangerously close to substantive social critique. It points out flaws in our social construct and the way women are treated — older women are routinely discriminated against. But rather than elaborate on why this is awful, the story goes whole-hog, embracing the ageist standards and showing how you too can live up to the unrealistic, patriarchal standards, you shriveled, 27-year-old goat.

Step 1: Stay in top physical form

Because the only thing worse than aging is aging into a larger size, amiright?

Step 2: Protect your skin

Alright, sure, skin cancer prevention! As we age, it’s important to remember we’re just as vulnerable to deadly carcinomas. That’s what they’re getting at… right?

If you do not already wear sunscreen every day, start immediately. Otherwise, you will be socially disposed very quickly.

Oh. Wouldn’t want to get dumped into the social wastebasket, would we?

Needless to say, the advice doesn’t get much better from there. Particularly perplexing are the story’s contradicting edicts to “keep up-to-date on the latest fashions” and to “build another career” if “being young and beautiful is your job description.” (The message? Be fashionable but don’t kid yourself, gawd.) It’s a piece so fanatically stereotypical that it times it’s difficult to tell whether it may actually be satire. Judging by the rest of the content on Elite Daily, however, I’d surmise it’s not. I won’t bore you with the rest of the article’s details — but this piece of advice is particularly galling:

After a while, the people you work with regularly may become wise to that many years you have been in the workforce. To avoid this, continuously make new social and work connections.

So you’re supposed to burn bridges and snub valuable career contacts so others won’t know how much experience you have. Right. Got it.

[H/T Gibblertron]

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