I Think It Might Be Time For Us To Rally Around Kim Kardashian
1:30 pm, April 10th | by
I know, I’m as happy about it as you are. But it has to be done.
I am more tolerant of the Kardashian phenomenon than most. I’ve seen at least one episode each of
Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kourtney And Khloe Take Miami, Kourtney And Kim Take New York, Kourtney And Kim Take Miami, and the short-lived Khloe And Lamar. These shows aren’t aspirational for me, but I do get a great deal of pleasure out of texting one of my best friends about their latest antics every week. But I’m starting to feel a bit guilty — not for watching any of these shows, because they are perfect, but for viewing Kim Kardashian in particular with a great deal of disdain. I think she deserves a bit more sympathy and understanding than she’s been getting of late. Allow me to state my case.
1.I hate funding these people.
All right, look — I hate giving the Kardashians my money, especially knowing that a percentage will go to the odious Kris Jenner. I hate doing it directly, which is why I have heroically refrained from purchasing anything from Rob Kardashian's sock line, despite a sock line being the funniest line of work to be in of all time AND his socks being the
perfect gag gift for every man in my life until the end of time (and maybe even for me. I love socks!). I hate doing it indirectly by contributing the ratings on every. single. Kardashian show on E! I think this is where the bulk of my resentment comes from.
2.Especially because the bulk of it benefits Kim and Kris Jenner.
Then there's the fact that Kim, emphatically the least interesting and least sympathetic Kardashian child, is the one who has benefited most overtly from her mom's machinations. Kim is a full participant in her own exploitation, lending her image to just about every half baked venture her mother can cook up and getting to refer to herself as a "businesswoman" in the process. It's an insult to businesswomen and half baked ventures everywhere.
3....But Kris Jenner is a mighty exploitative manager.
However, I have to add a caveat — Kim is usually a willing participant in her own exploitation, except
when she and her mom disagree. Remember the episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians when Kim made a pin-up calendar for her boyfriend Reggie Bush and her mother made copies of it to sell without asking her? I mean, jesus.
4.And I think Kris's attitude toward her daughter is altering our perception of what is and is not okay to do to her.
Now we've got dudes fighting over the rights to her body in rap songs. And by "dudes" I mean former boyfriend (and sex tape partner) Ray J and current boyfriend (and father of her child) Kanye West. The first shot was fired by West, and is fairly innocuous except when you consider — as I'm sure he did — that this lyric was almost guaranteed to draw attention to a pretty mediocre single. I'm a Kanye West fan, but I dare you/me to sing even one line from "Way Too Cold" (nèe "Theraflu"). You can't!
5.Plus, now Ray J is involved.
Then Ray J, not content to meet Kanye on his own gross level, took an elevator about a billion floors below him and released "I Hit It First," a "diss" track that is basically just reminding the world that he and Kim Kardashian had sex, and thus he has some kind of claim to her bod for all eternity? That is some
Scientology billion year contract-level nonsense, and I don't like it.
6.I am certainly not innocent here.
Look, we might enjoy these antics, and consume them as entertainment/an extension of the access we get to Kardashian through her multiple shows. I would be the first to admit that I haven't stopped laughing at "I Hit It First" in about 24 hours. There's no question that for fans of pop culture and/or absurdity, this kind of thing is catnip.
7.Kim K is not public domain!
But maybe we should remember that just because Kim makes money off of her private life and image, that doesn't mean that it's okay for EVERYONE to do the same. Consenting to something one time or in a particular context does not mean that you consent to it every time or in any context. That's something that our culture has a great deal of trouble with as it is; the least we can do is send a little sympathy Kim's way.
8.Also, Ray J is gross.
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