“Baby Bumps” Are Not Accessories

Hollywood

“Baby Bumps” Are Not Accessories

1:30 pm, January 3rd | by Sarah Devlin

You may have heard that Kate Middleton is great with child, guaranteeing us plenty of watercooler talk throughout 2013. You may have also heard that Kim Kardashian is hopping aboard the pregnancy bandwagon, announcing that she will be having a baby with Kanye West this year as well. But the duchess and the reality star’s pregnancies have also given to rise to one of the most annoying trends in modern life: pregnancy fashion advice. Everyone seems to have an opinion on what Kate and Kim should wear over the next few months, and it’s all highly annoying.

Take this clip from Good Morning America:

“Kate is going to look fabulous fashion-wise when she’s pregnant,” said Victoria Arbiter, ABC News’ Royal contributor. “You can expect it to be very chic, very stylish, very trim.”

Rosie Pope of Rosie Pope Maternity joined “Good Morning America” today to talk about four of the hottest maternity looks Kate is expected to favor during her pregnancy.

And this quote from Liz Lange:

“All eyes are definitely on Kate!” says maternity fashion designer Liz Lange. Of course, she’s talking about Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (aka Kate Middleton), who announced her pregnancy by way of the royal family December 3, after she was hospitalized with severe morning sickness. “We haven’t had a pregnant woman whose taste we all emulate since Jackie Kennedy was pregnant on the campaign trail with her husband,” says Lange.

And, with the announcement of Kim Kardashian’s pregnancy, this headline: “Kim Kardashian Vs. Kate Middleton – Who Will Be More Fashionable Pregnant?”

Look, we get that 2013 is going to be a banner year for maternity fashion, and the people who make and sell those clothes are psyched about it. After all, how often do you think Liz Lange gets to capitalize on the cachet of someone’s very favorite celebrity getting pregnant — not to mention the chance to knock off the stuff that she wears over the next few months?

But the very fact that I’m associated the words “pregnancy” and “business opportunity” seems a little craven, no? Not to mention the emphasis from the media on these stars looking particularly bangin’ while they’re trying to grow another human being inside their bodies. What all of these style guides seem to be missing is an acknowledgment that in addition to being an opportunity to GET NEW CLOTHES!!!11!!, pregnancy is difficult physical work.

One of the very first and strongest symptoms of pregnancy is fatigue, which can be severe: during pregnancy, “levels of the hormone progesterone soar — which can put you to sleep. At the same time, lower blood sugar levels, lower blood pressure and increased blood production might team up to sap your energy.” You would think that maybe this would be a time when these women could be temporarily released from the constant pressure to look fabulous, but for Kim and Kate, it doesn’t look like they’ll get any sort of reprieve. Coupled with the delicate line they must walk between “she’s glowing!” and “look how fat she got,” not to mention the expectation to drop any weight gained during pregnancy before sundown on baby’s first day out of the womb — it’s enough to make a girl long for a nap.

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