Writer Can’t Believe She’s Dating A Conservative: “What If I Have Little Republican Babies?”
4:02 pm, March 27th | by Laura Donovan
For me, it would be cave diving, but for Huffington Post writer Tamara Shayne Kagel, it’s dating a Republican! Much to her chagrin, she has already knocked that off the bucket list she never intended to write, as we learn in her Monday column, “I’ve Never Dated Anyone Without Dating Their Politics, Too.” Earlier today, I noted that headlines are often exaggerations of a story, but in this case, the title isn’t detailed enough, as the piece is mainly about the author’s disbelief that she is actually in a relationship with a right-leaning man and that conservatives can be (*gasp*) intelligent sometimes.
As far as first world problems go, this tops the list:
“As a lifelong Democrat, I never thought I would be in this place. I never thought I would have to confront this dreaded unforeseen fear — the terror that is, for me, dating a Republican.”
Kagel, whose HuffPost profile reveals she resides in sunny Los Angeles, says she doesn’t even know very many Republicans, and the conservatives she does know “got made fun [sic] behind their backs, be it children or adults.” As a lifelong Californian who (unfortunately) spent the first half of my childhood in Los Angeles, I agree that conservatives are few and far between in the Golden State, but Kagel apparently hasn’t spent enough time outside her ZOMG SoCal bubble to know that she resides in the same state that once passed Proposition 8. Did all the liberals you know do that? Doubt it. Nevertheless, the Northwestern University graduate says there were a few GOP folks at her institution of higher education and expressed astonishment that they were smart enough to get into the same school she did:
“I know there were some Republicans at my college because there was a ‘College Republicans’ group on campus, but this was the Bushy era and the conservatives who were smart enough to get into my university were too smart to be vocal defenders of the Dick Cheney puppet show that was the aughts.”
Imagine that? Conservatives not only aren’t toothless simpletons who breed with their relatives, but have the brains to study among the likes of you. To be fair though, you praise their culinary skills, and that’s quite generous of someone who appears to think conservatives aren’t people but rather mutant pandas who should all move to a secluded island and away from valuable members of society:
“[F]or now, there are a lot of crazy extremist cooks running the Republican party and when you get into Santorum territory and Palin country, I want the freedom to openly mock and deride in a forum where I don’t have to worry about offending someone. Is that so wrong?”
If you can’t even define them, or correctly spell Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh’s names, then yeah. It is wrong. But back to my explanation: The main message of this writer’s piece is that she’s floored she has fallen for someone on the right — and also that he’s not a stupid idiot like the rest of his party:
“So how did I get to here? How did I come to date a man who told me he ‘liked a lot of Mitt Romney’s ideas’ and that he thought John Kerry wasn’t really a war hero and that cap and trade is a terrible system?…I get mad at him just thinking about our past political discussions. I can’t date a Republican! What was I thinking? What if I have little Republican babies?”
Don’t worry, you can put them up for adoption if they’re not “little social justice fighters playing pin your favorite president on the blue donkey.”
One of the commentators suggested Kagel “hang in there” and “aspire to be with someone who has an open mind,” and I can only hope this was partly directed at the writer, who it’s safe to say is not as accepting as she’d like to think she is. This nearly 1,400 word post also seems to disregard the fact that the writer is not, in fact, among the first to date outside party lines. She references Mary Matalin and James Carville’s famous marriage, but says she simply couldn’t take all the onscreen bickering matches, as if every single media dispute extends beyond the TV screen.
With all of this in mind, the final line in her self-congratulatory post is perhaps the most telling of her views:
“Now, if I could only get [my boyfriend] to start watching Bill Maher with me…”