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Studies Show

Men To Outlive Women Thanks To Safer Jobs, Slight Decrease In Stupid Behavior


Men are on track to outlive women, according to a new report, eroding one of the few perks we could still claim. Jerks.

Women, whose remaining tactical advantages include our superior peripheral vision and Meryl Streep, have long outlasted men. Historically, women tend to outlive guys by an average of around five years, and we don’t even brag about it. Usually.

This phenomenon has been attributed to a few different factors, including women’s comparatively low participation in dangerous or risky occupations, and our lower rate of cardiovascular disease in our 50s and 60s.

We’re also less likely to become minor internet celebrities for doing fantastically dumb and dangerous things. Not to point fingers but…

You know who you are.

Which brings us to the real reason men are starting to outlive women: They’re acting less stupid than they used to.

The age report, according to the Daily Mail, shows that guys born in 2000 (or after) can expect to match women in average years, reaching the ripe old age of 87.1. And why? Because men are “abandoning their unhealthy, macho lifestyles.” In short, more men are ditching the cigarettes, putting down the bottle and enjoying a nice book or a brisk walk around the neighborhood. They’re getting smarter.

Even more tellingly, the report shows that careers once fraught with danger are, well, slightly less fraught. And these fraught-less men face fewer on-the-job deaths.

Point: guys.

TAGS: |

  • david r

    Another woman trying to lure us into a false sense of security.

  • rafael

    The wussification of men is now complete… a sad day… a sad day…

  • Henry Wood

    That’s an important insight, dave.

    Also, consider that women compel us to participate in allegedly stupid activities which enhance our awesomeness and sex appeal.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PKEQSTA4WOBYU5Z7QNSBUR2LXI MASSMURDERMEDIA

    this is actually a great victory in the war on women!…  viva la resistance!…

  • lazzzlo

    There will never be any significant decrease in men’s stupid behavior.  It’s inherent in our genes (and jeans).

  • Smack80

    How did we let this happen?

  • Duke Chesnut

    Not true. Men will ALWAYS die before their wives, it’s because we WANT to.

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  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_H36WFOK26NT5DTCBQPOVZBMXR4 lee

    Don worry ladies, your nagging voices will kill them sooner.

  • Treva Liu

    Which brings us to the real reason men are starting to outlive women: They’re acting less stupid than they used to.

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    what Allen answered I am inspired that a single mom can make $5464 in 4 weeks on the internet. did you read this webpage!!! http://Gotoonlinejob.blogspot.in

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