How To Be The Most Popular Person In Your Office: An Illustrated Guide
5:22 pm, February 15th | by
We’ve been working in our current office for what’s coming up on a year, alongside a diverse group. We sit across from
sports people, behind some awesome self-proclaimed geeks, and within a few feet of fashionistas and political pundits. Here’s what we’ve learned about how to become the cool kid at work. You can do it!
always getting headaches, or feeling some sort of irritating back pain from sitting in front of a computer all day! Since it's generally considered inappropriate to casually pop stronger medications in the workplace, you can be your workplace's totally legal drug dealer with a family size pack of Advil. But make sure you get the caplets, since everyone knows Liquigels are the nasty.
If you're trying to get the "I'm a cool desk" point across if your place of work, stashing candy on your desk is easier than taking candy from a baby. Or something like that. Remember: like Halloween, make your good individually wrapped. No one wants to pick apart a piece of your sweaty Hershey bar.
Next to headaches and hunger, the most workplace ailment is undoubtedly some sort of sore throat or cough-like ailment. Be sure to buy a non-disgusting flavor like cherry, because a lot of the time when people ask for cough drops what they really want is candy. They just don't want to admit it.
Nothing makes people more stressed at work than a dead phone. Share your charger!
The real key to seeming cool among your co-workers is to go to your local taxidermy depot, pick up a stuffed white owl, and then put your winter hat on it. Alternatively, just subtly place some sort of "unique" or "quirky" doodad on your desk, so that people ask you where you got that, and you can make up a really crazy about it. Tread carefully with this one.