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Head Scratchers

PETA to Elon Musk: “Make Mars Vegan”

3:44 pm, August 8th | by Amy Tennery


We’d make a crack about “counting their eggs before they hatch” — but that just seems mean to do to a group of vegans.

Imagine our surprise over here at Mogulite when a press rep at PETA (they of the totally necessary nudity in their ads denouncing fur) sent us an open letter targeted to Elon Musk, of all people. As you may recall, the SpaceX founder has garnered headlines recently after announcing that his company will (purportedly) land a space shuttle on Mars by 2018. Musk has also argued for the importance of colonizing the red planet in the near future, before “some calamity claims us” on earth. Well then.

And PETA is wasting no time sharing its two cents in on Musk’s plans. It wants Mars vegan. Really.

PETA’s rationale? Since we’ve already loused up our current planet with our meat-eating ways, it believes we need to start over somewhere else. Given Musk’s lack of faith in earthly stability, we’re prone to think he might just hear them out on this one.

Let’s allow them to explain:

The opportunity to colonize Mars means a chance to make a fresh start, especially now that we’ve degraded our own planet by treating our fellow animals like disposable widgets, filled the air with pollution that will soon make the sky in “Soylent Green” look clear, and populated the Earth with so many humans that the premise of “Logan’s Run” starts to look practical. We can get off on the right foot on our new biosphere by ensuring that SpaceX crafts traveling to Mars are stocked only with vegan food and that Mars’ colonists commit to enjoying an animal-free diet once they’ve arrived.
 
Colonizing Mars can give us the opportunity to learn from our mistakes on one planet and create a just civilization on another. Ensuring that Mars is a vegan planet (rather than importing animal products from Earth or creating factory farms on our new home) would protect animals from the horrors that they endure in the meat, egg, and dairy industries.

I won’t get into the moral issues of meat-eating; as with so many things, that could keep us here all day (although referring to population control via systematic human extermination — as seen in “Logan’s Run” — as “practical” seems a little… uhh, well, off). But isn’t it a bit early to be commenting on the future eating habits of Mars-dwellers? Err, martians. Marsians. Something like that.

Of course, we’re sure PETA would disagree. But to be totally honest, they scare us a little so we’re just going to back away slowly here.

But just a quick side-note: unless Elon Musk were some kind of benevolent, kale-eating overlord of Mars, how exactly would he enforce this rule? Should we colonize, I’d imagine there would be some kind of governing body, no? I know he’s getting the shuttle there but it’s not like he’ll be running the joint as a de facto leader, right? Okay, now we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

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  • Johnny

    Why is it ok to eat plants but not animals? All animals other than scavengers live by eating other living creatures, whereas most plants and fungi just draw nutrients from the soil. Why is it that the wanton slaughter of these innocent creatures is ok but when it comes to eating murderous animals they’re suddenly off limits?

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/YH42TNRJ24AOUEYKHMZGM7QYEQ Emerson

    I’ve heard the death screams of carrots as their skin is ripped off their bodies. How can vegans stand themselves?! That and that they’re sanctimonious pricks.

  • http://swamphermit.wordpress.com/ Karmi

    Vegetables have no rights…other than being food for humans. Vegetarians treat vegetables as if they are born dead…born without life or feelings.

  • Dixibehr

    PETA doesn’t go far enough. Join Stop the Assimilation of Reproductive Vegetable Elements (STARVE)!

  • William Dix

    PETA sometimes redefines the phrase pack of fools. And if anything humans evolved as ominivores not vegetarians. Also vegan nutrition has it’s isses with nutritional deficiencies mainly with essential amino acids and proteins hat aren’t available in plants. Also given a choice between using a pharmaceutical that has been tested in animals and one that is not….Give me the animal tested one any day of the week.

    Admitedly any animal protein consumption at least initially on any eventual space colony will more than likely to consist of small fast growing animals such as Poultry, Fish, snails, and a small mammal (Guinea pigs, rabbits) larger mammals require a lot more resources that will more than likely not be readily available.

  • Guest

    Really? Because chickens, cows, and  pigs are such evil murderous animals! LOL 

  • Anonymous

    So we’re going to ship all the militant annoying Vegans off to another planet?

    …

    Where do I donate to this worthy and necessary cause?  Will it help if I eat more meat to offend them and drive them off?

  • Baconstrips

    Save the endangered lions; feed them vegans

  • Babylonandon

    You should realize that the real motivation behind all of this is the that held by leading lights of this whole movement who ALL advocate that the vast majority of humans (up to 95% in speeches given by people like Ted Turner, Bill Gates, Cass Sunstein, etc.) must die in the next 20 or so years if the Earth is to be saved – saved so they can enjoy life without having to put up with ANYONE that isn’t needed to serve THEIR needs.

  • Babylonandon

    “is the belief that is held by the leading lights” ooopsss

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_P5ZBHJHBW7M7J22I3K4Y3OYHUI ron

    Life on Mars! Meatless life on Mars: Science fiction doesn’t get any better!

  • Anonymous

    “(they of the totally necessary nudity in their ads denouncing fur)”

    I read that above quoted passage in the voice of Angela from “The Office”.

  • Farmgirl

    You’ve never met a chicken or a pig, have you? A boar will kill you and eat you, and a chicken might not be able to kill you, but if you fell over dead in the coop, chickens will strip your bones. You do know these animals are omnivores, right? Also, I have had cows intentionally try to injure me. Animals are animals. Murder doesn’t come in to it (most of the time)–but they will eat anything tasty.

  • Anonymous

    Like it or not, Mars is the future, and if you’re unsatisfied with the way things are down here on Earth, here’s you opportunity to do something about it.  Forget voting.  Forget protests and riots.  Forget Earth.  Set your sights on the celestial bodies.  There’s a place for us, up there. Thanks, PETA, for plowing the way.
    http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2011/08/peta-claims-mars-as-their-own-meat-free-colony/

  • Bubbles99

    We’ve wrecked our planet with meat eating? Last time I checked, deforestation was driven as much by cocaine, sugar, coffee, and cotton (all vegetables, last time I checked, although with GMO you can never be sure) as it is by cattle grazing. As for tofu — soybeans are another crop infamous for driving deforestation, and most tofu has been shipped thousands of miles to get to your table. And as long as Monsanto enjoys its loathesome RoundUp Ready monopoly, I’ll never touch soy again.

    There’s only one thing wrecking our planet: population growth. Solve that problem, and the rest is trivia. Fail to solve that problem, and the rest is irrelevant.

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