PETA to Elon Musk: “Make Mars Vegan”
3:44 pm, August 8th | by Amy Tennery
Imagine our surprise over here at Mogulite when a press rep at PETA (they of the totally necessary nudity in their ads denouncing fur) sent us an open letter targeted to Elon Musk, of all people. As you may recall, the SpaceX founder has garnered headlines recently after announcing that his company will (purportedly) land a space shuttle on Mars by 2018. Musk has also argued for the importance of colonizing the red planet in the near future, before “some calamity claims us” on earth. Well then.
And PETA is wasting no time sharing its two cents in on Musk’s plans. It wants Mars vegan. Really.
PETA’s rationale? Since we’ve already loused up our current planet with our meat-eating ways, it believes we need to start over somewhere else. Given Musk’s lack of faith in earthly stability, we’re prone to think he might just hear them out on this one.
Let’s allow them to explain:
The opportunity to colonize Mars means a chance to make a fresh start, especially now that we’ve degraded our own planet by treating our fellow animals like disposable widgets, filled the air with pollution that will soon make the sky in “Soylent Green” look clear, and populated the Earth with so many humans that the premise of “Logan’s Run” starts to look practical. We can get off on the right foot on our new biosphere by ensuring that SpaceX crafts traveling to Mars are stocked only with vegan food and that Mars’ colonists commit to enjoying an animal-free diet once they’ve arrived.
Colonizing Mars can give us the opportunity to learn from our mistakes on one planet and create a just civilization on another. Ensuring that Mars is a vegan planet (rather than importing animal products from Earth or creating factory farms on our new home) would protect animals from the horrors that they endure in the meat, egg, and dairy industries.
I won’t get into the moral issues of meat-eating; as with so many things, that could keep us here all day (although referring to population control via systematic human extermination — as seen in “Logan’s Run” — as “practical” seems a little… uhh, well, off). But isn’t it a bit early to be commenting on the future eating habits of Mars-dwellers? Err, martians. Marsians. Something like that.
Of course, we’re sure PETA would disagree. But to be totally honest, they scare us a little so we’re just going to back away slowly here.
But just a quick side-note: unless Elon Musk were some kind of benevolent, kale-eating overlord of Mars, how exactly would he enforce this rule? Should we colonize, I’d imagine there would be some kind of governing body, no? I know he’s getting the shuttle there but it’s not like he’ll be running the joint as a de facto leader, right? Okay, now we’re getting ahead of ourselves.