PETA Mocks PR CEO’s Weird Antics, Sends Him a Case of Soy Milk
4:36 pm, October 3rd | by Hillary Reinsberg
Hey, remember that CEO from last week who said his employees would get fired if they didn’t replace the milk? Yeah, we’d kind of forgotten about it too…but PETA hasn’t! They seized the opportunity to get a little publicity…by sending some soy milk over to Beckerman PR headquarters.
For a brief refresher, Beckerman CEO Keith Zakheim fired off an angry email to his employees last week, complaining that “the skim milk in the refrigerator had three drops of milk left. Literally 3 drops, an amount that would maybe fill the tummy of a prematurely born mouse.” He then threatened, “You will be fired for not replacing the milk, and have fun explaining that one to your next employer.
Predictably, mockery ensued.
Nearly a week later, PETA reps tell us that they’ve sent Zakheim a carton of soy milk. Huh? What’s the rationale here? They say it’ll make Zakheim a nicer person. “Because soy milk, unlike cow’s milk, doesn’t involve depriving mother cows of their calves on factory farms, switching to soy will help Zakheim in his mission to foster staff responsibility and stamp out selfishness.” Ha. They also claim, “The switch to soy milk may also reduce sick days attributed to a dairy-laden diet.” Oh, convincing!
Here’s the letter they sent to Zakheim.
Dear Mr. Zakheim:
I am writing on behalf of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and our more than 2 million members and supporters worldwide, including thousands across New Jersey. To help alleviate your office’s milk shortage, assist in your company’s stated goal of promoting employee responsibility while decreasing selfishness, and reduce animal suffering, PETA is sending the Beckerman Public Relations headquarters several cartons of delicious soy milk. Using soy milk instead of cow’s milk for your staff’s coffee will also help spare cows a lifetime of suffering on filthy factory farms. What better way to encourage an office culture of conscientiousness than to drink your coffee with a cruelty-free beverage?
I’m sure you are unaware that a typical cow used for milk spends her life crowded with hundreds of other cows on a mud lot, wallowing in her own waste. She is forcefully impregnated over and over and drugged to produce far more milk than she would naturally, which often leads to a painful udder infection. Her calves are taken from her within hours of their birth so that the milk intended for them can be consumed by humans instead.
In addition to helping animals, switching to soy milk would also greatly benefit your employees’ health, thus contributing to a more productive workforce and lower health-care costs. Fortified soy milk (along with other fortified plant-based beverages) contains all the calcium and protein but none of the artery-clogging cholesterol and saturated animal fat found in cow’s milk.
I hope that the delicious and nutritious beverage we are sending in the mail inspires your office to switch to soy milk (or almond or rice milk) permanently, thereby turning this into a win-win situation for both animals and Beckerman’s staff. Please enjoy.
Executive Vice President
As a PR guru, we’ll bet Zakheim understands that PETA’s just doing a little publicity stunt.