The Rachel Zoe Project Recap: Rachel Actually Dies From Vintage Clothing
5:25 pm, April 18th | by Meredith Lepore
After weeks of nothing, Rachel finally got a little busy in this episode. We opened with Rach and her special man-friend Joey talking about when she is going to have her baby. An intimate talk like that needs to be discussed with your gay BFF/hair stylist/hanger on-er in front of millions of people. Then they talked about how Rachel is different than most moms because she wears couture to drink tea in her kitchen? Wait, everyone doesn’t do that?
“I don’t have time to shower on most days,” Rachel said while wearing perfect makeup and designer clothing. “If I didn’t work and have 18 jobs I would have four kids. I mean, I started a little late to the party.” Joey replied, “Hey 40 is the new 20.” Wait, so now 40 is the new 20? Does that mean 60 is the new 30? What happens when you are actually 30?
After meeting with her handbags team to discuss adding more bangles and chains and RZ to all her bags, Rachel talked with Glamour Magazine’s Editor in Chief Cindi Lieve, her life idol, about styling a photo shoot with a boho theme. In case you didn’t know, of all the fashion time periods, Rachel loves the boho time the most. She even likes it more than the early 00′s leggings and ballet flats and Balenciaga bags skinny girls era. She loves the shag vests, and the long hair, and the bootleg jeans and the giant sunglasses. She loves it all.
Then Rachel did an appearance on Good Morning America to talk about….DreamDry or possibly her bangs? Apparently Rach is a really big fan of GMA. It’s like her favorite show. Take that Matt Lauer.
Then we finally got to see a finished DreamDry which looked pretty awesome. Rachel just swooped in to the delightful surprise of the customers. And that was really it. No fabulous party, no red carpet, no b-list celebrity air kisses. It was so not maj.
Meanwhile, Rodg meets his friend William (the vintage clothing dealer.) They talk about scarves over lunch and then decide to surprise Rach with a rack of vintage clothing. When William brings the rack in, Rachel almost faints and then he shows her a Karl Lagerfeld-designed dress from the 1960s and Rachel literally has the same reaction as the one in this parody.
It was like Anne Hathaway’s death scene in Les Miserables combined with The Wizard of Oz melting scene but with a lot more hair and a baby in a French onesie.
And now it is time for the photo shoot except maj problem. The fog has set in. That’s right. California got some crappy weather for once. So while waiting for the fog to roll Rachel talked to a dog and made someone cut her bangs.
Then it is time to feed Skysky. Rachel eats two of his noodles which I am pretty sure was her dinner. She sits in Sky’s playroom (which has white fringe rugs) and once again talks about whether or not she should have another kid. If she had another kid she would have no time to talk about having another kid. SkySky then tries to hit his mother with a shovel. But in all fairness, when Rachel sang The Wheels on the Bus to Skylar it was actually pretty friggin adorable even though I don’t Rachel has ever ridden a bus.