Read of the Day: “The Office is Not Too Cold”
5:30 pm, October 9th | by Colette McIntyre
I have heard of space heaters stolen out of unwatched offices. I have heard of meetings interrupted by malcontents who insist one conference room is colder than another. I have heard stories that would chill your heart and make your blood run cold, were it not a frozen sludge already.
As your employer, I feel it is my duty to intervene where negotiations have failed. Your comfort and happiness are, of course, of paramount importance to me, and I tell you this for your own good: The office is not too cold. The office has never been too cold. You are weak, and your cardigans make you look pathetic and you will never be offered a promotion.
Did Andrew Carnegie decide to lay off Bessemering steel because it was “too cold” in nineteenth-century Pennsylvania? He did not. He Bessemered all the steel he could find until a grateful nation built him a library as a token of their appreciation. Did George Washington complain Valley Forge was “too cold” to fight the British? He did not. He stayed there all winter, no matter how many of his soldiers’ feet froze off, and he got the job done. Did the Little Match Girl decide to turn in and have a cozy night by the fire in a cushy workhouse because it was “too cold” to move the rest of her merchandise? I don’t know; I never finished The Little Match Girl, I’m a very busy man.
For the full missive, click here.