Read of the Day: “Why Do Pick-Up Artists Tell Each Other to Creep Women Out?”
6:00 pm, June 20th | by Colette McIntyre
“Pick-up artist” Ken Hoinsky has been raising money on Kickstarter for his new book Above the Game: A Guide to Getting Awesome with Women, alternatively titled (by blogger Amanda Marcotte) as How To Bully Women Who Don’t Like You Into Sex. As discovered by Casey Malone, Hoinsky’s advice is less about “getting awesome with women” and is more a step-by-step description of sexual assault. In today’s Read of the Day, Marcotte asks why pick-up artists — or PUAs — shell out advice that is bound to creep women out as opposed to flatter or seduce them.
“Officer, she kept moving away from me and saying that she wanted that ride home I promised her, but since she was too scared to shove a man who has already demonstrated he will not take no for an answer, I figured I had consent.” Sadly, this line may even work to avoid the rape charges, because it’s surprising how most people expect women to be polite and deferential, and then turn right around and expect them to morph into Wonder Woman fighting off assailants at the drop of a hat. Even though most women reasonably fear that shoving a guy who has strongly established his unwillingness to respect your boundaries will just give him pretext to hit you, hold you down, and just rape you the hard way.
Here’s a post from Yes Means Yes explaining why it’s bullshit to claim that anything but a physical shove and shouting “no” counts as consent. Of, if you’d rather just watch a one minute video, let the characters from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” explain it to you:
I’ve seen a lot of people who are reacting to this with confusion, pointing out that even if a woman doesn’t feel raped after you’ve bullied and scared her into “consenting”—or at least not fighting you off—she is going to think you’re a massive asshole and won’t speak to you afterwards. Since Ken Hoinsky and PUAs like him generally portray themselves as poor schlubs who just want the girls to like them, it’s hard to fathom why they go around doing stuff that will actually make women fear them and hate them.
Having watched the PUA community from afar for awhile now, I think I have an answer to that question: For a lot of them, especially the leaders, it’s actually not about getting women to like you. The “woe is me, I just want to be good with ladies” act, like the legalese about accepting a forcefully stated no, is mostly cover to create plausible deniability. A lot of the time, these guys have a bunch of poorly concealed anger at women right under the surface, and their behaviors are a way of punishing women for rejecting them.
To read the full article, click here.