Brandy Played to an Empty South African Stadium
3:43 pm, August 22nd | by Colette McIntyre
If you are to learn one thing from the life and times of Brandy Norwood, let it be this: never lie about being married to someone. Oh, you’re still here? …The lecture is over. That was it. You learned one thing from the life and times of Brandy Norwood; you can see on the pamphlet you are holding that I only promised to teach you one thing. The Learning Annex isn’t going to refund your ticket, you know. Look — I run a legitimate business; I have a family to support and I won’t have some NOBODY like you just mucking it up! I give people a piece of valuable information which they can — You don’t want a refund? Oh, well, why didn’t you say that earlier, my good man! You just one another tip? Of course you do! Well, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. This is some top tier, advanced placement, next level shit. Okay, here it is: don’t agree to be the last performance of a day-long sport and culture show, especially if your performance is a surprise. If no one knows you are coming, no one is going to wait for you.
Poor Brandy had to learn this lesson the hard way: by the time B.No took the stage as the closing act of the Nelson Mandela Sport and Culture Day in Johannesburg, there were reportedly only forty people in the 90,000-seat stadium. Forty people. My high school’s annual Christmas Carole Sing-A-Long drew bigger crowds and that was held at a nursing home — half of the residents couldn’t even leave their rooms but we still managed to attract more bodies than this Brandy concert! After playing two songs at the practically vacant First National Bank Stadium, Brandy cut her set short and left the stage.
For the love of Ray J, can our girl Brandy catch a break? Will she ever be sitting on top of the world again? Once thing’s for sure: Monica was right, the boy was hers…if by “boy,” they meant “South African fan base,” which we assumed they did. Mekhi Phifer is always a symbol for South Africa. Go watch Carmen: A Hip Hopera again; it’ll clear up everything.