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The More You Know

Sheryl Sandberg To Women: “If You Can Marry A Woman, That’s Better”


In a society where half of marriages end in divorce, tying the knot can be an intimidating concept, so Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg advises women to choose wisely when selecting a life partner. Finding someone supportive of your ambition and willing to assist with household duties is vital, but settling down with a woman might even be preferable since the work at home will be more even, according to Sandberg.

“The most important thing — and I’ve said it a hundred times and I’ll say it a hundred times — if you marry a man, marry the right one,” Sandberg said in a new video for the Makers series by PBS and AOL. “If you can marry a woman, that’s better because the split between two women in the home is pretty even, the data shows.”

But it’s not that simple (aside from the fact that marrying a woman isn’t really an “opt-in” choice kind of thing). Sandberg argues that women deal with two problems that men never face. Women feel guilty about working a lot and are also less liked the more they succeed.

“I feel guilty when my son says, ‘Mommy, put down the BlackBerry, talk to me’ and that happens far too much. I think all women feel guilty. I think what’s interesting is I don’t know many men who feel guilty,” Sandberg said. “I don’t know a lot of men who feel guilty for working full time, it’s expected that they’ll work full time…I wonder if there were more shared responsibility if more men would feel guilty too and women would feel less of it.”

The guilt will always be lingering, though, especially for those who try to juggle a million things and spread themselves too thin. The good news is that the nerdier a woman is, the better she will fare in the real world. Sandberg, who was voted “most likely to succeed” in high school, says she asked the editor to make the title hard to find and select another person for the accolade. Being a geek back then paid off, though:

“I want to tell any young girl out there who’s a geek, I was a really serious geek in high school,” Sandberg said. “It works out. Study harder.”

Now that she’s a multi-millionaire, I think it’s safe to say it worked out well.

TAGS:

  • Anonymous

    Is there anything more annoying than listening to a woman describe how women are superior to men, in any way, without offering any evidence other than her own personal opinion?

    I say yes, Joy Behar is more annoying. But other than that, no.

  • Amenra51

    See:  This is why the U.S. is so hated.  Silly women like this.   Why don’t we see the rest of the Civilized world rushing into this new women marrying women paradigm?  This women and her idea is simply dis-gusting and makes me want to throw-up.

  • Anonymous

    “I feel guilty when my son says, ‘Mommy, put down the BlackBerry, talk to me’ and that happens far too much. I think all women feel guilty. I think what’s interesting is I don’t know many men who feel guilty.”
    Things non-assholes say.

  • Anonymous

    it seems someone majored in condescension. 

  • Anonymous

    As a woman, I am sick to death of these man-hating femi-nazi’s.  They have such an inflated sense of themselves.  For you guys out there, please know we don’t all feel that way.  A lot of us appreciate your contributions to the family.  But I do agree with the moral of this story, when choosing a spouse, choose wisely and avoid the man-hating liberal she-beast.  They only bring you misery. 

  • MichaelLee1

    If that many women marry women then I’d buy stock in banana futures. But what will they do,flip a coin to see which one straps on the banana?

  • Anonymous

    Seriously?  This is why our country is so hated?  Some other countries “hate” us, or dislike us, because we occupy their countries.  Some countries “hate” us because often, Americans think we are far superior than those countries.  I’ve  travelled in Europe a lot and lived there for a number of years….my good European friends joked often about how “loud” and “rich” we Americans are, but aside from joking, I think there is some dislike of our pompous attitudes.  Some countries question that if we are so great, why don’t we have universal healthcare, like all other industrialized countries do.  I once had a good European friend ask me, “how do I stand it,” living in this country?  I asked her what she meant, and she said, “you only get 2 weeks of vacation a year”…..Europeans get typically 5 to 6.  Another good European friend once told me how upset she was with our country because we still have the death penalty.

    I honestly think many countries like the ideas this “silly woman”  believes in, except countries like Iran and Iraq.  It’s “silly” that you think we are disliked because of what people like Sheryl Sandberg say.

  • Disrespected Guy

    So men are bad because they don’t feel guilty enough? Because they won’t get out of a woman’s way to the top? Because the guy can’t have the babies that both the guy and the woman, in most cases, decided on having? Wow, I guess guys really stink and shouldn’t be accorded any respect what so ever, eh?

  • Anonymous

    Gee.. so you should marry the RIGHT person, as opposed to the wrong one?  So glad she cleared that up.  How’s that girl marrying girl thing working out for Rosie O’Donnell, Melissa Etheridge, Anne Heche, etc. etc…  ?

  • Anonymous

    Stick with Conservative woman if you want to be appreciated. 

  • driveswift

    The only thing I’ve ever seen conservative women appreciate is their husband’s wallet. I don’t need a husband or a wife to appreciate me. 

  • driveswift

    Just like I’m tired of hearing woman-hating manwhores. Men are the first ones to cheat and the first ones to leave – and usually while trying to avoid paying child support. More than half of marriages end in divorce and, surprisingly, the rate of divorce is HIGHER for conservatives. Just sayin. 
    http://conservative-truths.com/2012/01/02/there-is-a-higher-rate-of-divorce-in-conservative-states-than-in-liberal-states/

  • Anonymous

    Paranoid, insecure men like you are why the male species will be history in a 500 years. Dude, go back to mommy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kobus-Van-Kleef/100000676575312 Kobus Van Kleef

    You don’t get out of the basement much do you? Nobody wants you anyway.

  • Anonymous

    Use a bag.

  • Anonymous

    how many women just simply don’t mention cheating? How many men are stripped of their parental rights in a divorce? how many women reach a huge settlement in a divorce that gives them funds they didn’t have going into the marriage? 

  • Anonymous

    also way to challenge a stereotype that has no evidence or citation to back it’s claim up. real quality journalism here. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_RS4AA76IEU43JECFZX35BGTFFA 10 year VietNam Vet

    I’ll do the dishes if she will put up the hay in 100 degree temperatures.
    I’ll vacum the floors if she will in freezing weather feed and tend the livestock.
    I’ll do the dusting if she will replace the muffler and change the oil and all the filters on the car and the truck and the tractor.
    I’ll mop the floors if she will go out and make enough money to pay the bills.
    I’ll wash the toilet bowl if she will butcher and clean the chikens and gather eggs everyday.

    I’ll clean the ceiling fan if she will pay all the taxes including property taxes and the health insurance, home insurance and vehicle insurance bills. 
    I’ll do the laundry is she will clean the septic tank.
    I love my wife and my life the way it is, I am not complaining.
    I enjoy king and baking, but my priorities are to take care of my family in the role of being the provider, the repairman and the doing the work of a man around my place. And my wife enjoys that fact and the fruits of my labor. I can not be replaced by a battery operated device.

    I am me and my wife is she.

  • Anonymous

    Obviously your oddball projections don’t reflect on me whatsoever, but rather your own mental issues. I hope you seek help.

  • Anonymous

    I admit women are superior. Again, your insecure fear of women is showing like a slip. You see the therapist, chief.

  • Anonymous

    The broad is successful and crazy. How does that happen?

  • Anonymous

    The menstrual cycles of women living together often synchronize.  I’ve sometimes wondered what the homicide rate is for lesbian partners, married or otherwise.

  • Lisa26hd

    You all need to take a reading comprehension course.  She did not say women were superior.  She did not say she hates men.  

  • Fatherdaddy

    Don’t confuse conjunction with synchronization. That only happens for brief periods (no pun intended, but, I’ll go with it) when the cycles coincide.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1198398438 Christopher Michael Moore

    Well, nice to know sexism is alive and well.  If a man said those comments, he’d be strung up in the court of public opinion, and maybe lose his job.  Yup, “you’ve come a long way baby.”  Very sad that women fought for equal rights all those years only to end up acting like the men that women swore were wrong.

  • yankiphile

    The US is only hated because everyone else is jealous of it’s debt crisis, diabetes epidemic, illiteracy rates and inaccessible medical care. You guys should be proud and invade more countries that have withstood change and resisted occupiers for centuries.

  • http://www.holytape.etsy.com Holytape

    Is there anything more annoying than listening to a man describe how men are superior to women, in any way, without offering any evidence
    other than his own personal opinion?

    I say yes, Rush Limbaugh is more annoying. But other than that, no.

  • Alex Cohn

    I actually take her advice at the face value. For me, it’s 100 true. I would not like to marry a man. Especially, a man like myself.

  • Anonymous

    Of course I didn’t do that, so your point is idiotic. At least the person I was referring to actually did that.
    Plus, if there are actually men out there doing that, they are ignorant as all hell. All men have to do, to prove they are superior generally speaking, is play the “who invented that” game. It’s not that complicated.

  • Anonymous

    Why not? She can strap a dildo around her waist and drive it home inside her partner. That’s really intimate. When half of the problems come out of the bedroom, a dildo is the way to go. What an idiot. 

  • logotrix

    It’s clear that your annoyance is consequent to your own belief that women are superior to men. Get over your inferiority complex and you might not feel so annoyed.

  • Beigeslacks

    Yes, the reason the US is so hated is because of working women wanting equal partnerships. Very astute geopolitcal analysis.

  • swifty777

    And as a man I am sick to death of self-hating women who project their envy and insecurity onto their more successful (and desired) cohorts. Get some self respect and spare us “guys” your pathetic shout-outs. Women like you are more of a drag on men than any independent woman could ever possibly be. We want EQUAL adult partners too!  Not cheerleaders looking for a meal ticket as a “stay at home mom”.

  • Anonymous

    Obviously nothing is “clear.” But I did enjoy reading that. As did my better half.

  • http://www.wordydoodles.com WordyDoodles

     disagree completely. I don’t think she’s “man hating” at all. I think she’s questioning societal assumptions about gender roles.

  • Ronknoxville

     ”. . . the male species will be history in 500 years? You are so naive and insecure yourself, TommyBennett. “Male” is NOT a species, neither is female. Human beings ARE a species, and it requires BOTH male and female to reproduce and survive. That you wrote, “Dude, go back to mommy” just screams out that you have huge insecurity issues. Hey, all females out there . . . I don’t hate you, in fact, I absolutely LOVE femininity and all that you wonderful women are. Please do be feminine all females, because opposites DO attract, and I need to bond with females PRECISELY because I am male. Men need women to have a purpose to exist, and women need men for the same reason. TommyBennett, YOU need a set of balls, you weakling.

  • Ronknoxville

     TommyBennett, men are NOT superior to woman, and women are NOT superior to men. I am in awe of the enlightenment that men and women ARE different yes, but the two sexes are so truly equal in a beautiful natural balance of nature that you don’t appreciate. You actually posted that you admit that women are superior to men? To hell with you, you nothing of a wimp. With THAT mindset, women may well perceive you as impotent, and men sure as heck perceive you as gutless.

  • Anonymous

    Your paranoia is amusing. Relax, douchebag. Go have a mai tai.

  • Anonymous

    You hurt my feelings, Ron. 

  • Anonymous

    I drink Jameson. Go sit on a parking cone.

  • Anonymous

    I drink Bushmills. Cheers.

  • Willisw71

     Today, Europe is not exactly in the catbird seat, so, thanks,  but I’ll stay put here in the U.S., and “hope” we “change” back to respecting the Constitution!

  • Willisw71@yahoo.com

     Gee, do you have to be so brutally honest!

  • Anonymous

    “catbird seat”?  Never heard that term before.  I guess you learn something new every day.

    While Europe is not exactly the “catbird seat,” neither is the United States.  And, honestly, not every country in Europe is in serious economic trouble like Greece and some others are.  I don’t know if you have ever been to Europe, but it is pretty nice (and I did live there).  I think the Europeans in general enjoy life more than we do.  For starters, they get 6 weeks of vacation a year, even for a first time job.  If I could get a job again over there, and if it were not for friends and family, I’d happily move back.  Not that I dislike it here…..it’s a fine place to live in this country.  But it’s also nice there.

    But I really wonder what you mean by “respecting the Constitution?”  Why is it that if the right wing believes something is “constitutional,” they are right 100%, but if the left thinks something is “constitutional,” they are wrong?  That’s why we have a Supreme Court in the first place, to help decide what is constitutional and what is not.  In spite of what this present court might decide, with a very slightly different makeup, it would probably decide otherwise.

    At one time, women could not vote in this country.  You mean to tell me that the Founding Fathers themselves did not follow the Constitution, because now, women are allowed to vote but could not back in the “early days.”

    Did the Founding Fathers envision automatic and semi-automatic weapons?  I don’t know, but I think some might cringe if they saw that today, you can legally obtain one.  But people who are rabid in their support of the 2nd Amendment will go to the grave, so to speak, before their guns (including AK-47s) are taken away.  So, why doesn’t the Constitution allow me to purchase land mines and put them in my front yard so I can keep dogs and cats from doing their duty there?

    Well, I disagree with you, but thanks for teaching me a new phrase….I looked it up!

  • Anonymous

    I hope you spill some of that loyalist swill on your favorite shirt.

  • Bob1

    “ trying to avoid paying child support”, I see, so you feel entitled to it. Instead of getting a job, you want to keep the kids AND to be paid for the pleasure of keeping them? No wonder the other party tries to not to pay it! It’s nothing to do with “men” vs. “women”. It could be any 2 groups of people differentiated arbitrarily. It’s just about who is being the asshole.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Adam-Baum/581776752 Adam Baum

    “If you can marry a woman, that’s better because the split between two women in the home is pretty even, the data shows.”

    That’s pretty ignorant. I’d love to see this data. Does it include all of that work that needs to be done just outside your home. Fixing the roof. Cleaning the gutters. Yard work.

    I’m all for her rah-rah girl power pep talks but she’s not being rational.

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