Should You Gchat That Guy?
2:00 pm, May 15th | by Colette McIntyre
Oh, you know which guy; don’t play coy with me. That guy. The guy to whom you were all “oh, yeah, that’s so great — I loooove Rob Thomas..maybe I should stop by one of your Rob Thomas cover band’s shows sometime..that would be, like, so fun”, even though you, like every other normal person in the world, hate Rob Thomas. I know that guy just popped up on your Gchat and I know you’re itching to talk to him but the question is: should you?
When was the last time you saw him in person?
A) I’m technically seeing him in person right now — we work together. +4
B) A few day/months ago — we do [insert activity] [I didn't mean for that to be a sexual innuendo but it kind of is and I don't hate it so I'm sticking to it] together/we’re friendly/we live in the same neighborhood, etc., so we see each other with some regularity. +2
C) Ugh, a while ago…. +0
D) Well I saw him a few nights ago but he didn’t know that I was there. It’s amazing the things you can deduce through Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook… -1
What was the last chat he sent you?
A) “Haha yeah.” +1
B) “Later” +2
C) We’ve never chatted before. -1
D) “o” +0
Did you start the last conversation?
A) …Technically I’ve started all the conversations. -1
B) Yes. + 0
C) No. +1
Do you not wanna be the last to know; do you want him to not hold back and let it show because you need to hear him say he needs you all the way?
A) …yes? +0
B) YES! +1
Have you used emojis while chatting with him?
A) Yes -1
B) No +1
C) :-! +0
Has he used emojis while chatting with you?
A) Yes +1
B) No +0
C) ;) +2…we think?
What Gchat color level is he on?
A) Green +2
B) Red +0
C) Yellow -1
Have you ever pretended to send him a chat intended for “someone else” and then you were all “oh sry that wasn’t for u, lol….but hey, what’s up LOL”?
A) No +1
B) HOW DID YOU KNOW? +0
C) …Only five times… -1
Yeah….ain’t no shame girl.
Have you ever given him a smooch? A real one, not one of these guys: :*
A) Yes +4
B) No -1
C) Define “smooch”. +0
Do you want to, like, date him?
A) Yes +2
B) No -1
C) Define “date”. +0
(All answers provided by the Internet!)
If you have -8 to -1 point(s)….
“Hope you will not be hurted by this answer of mine: If ever he has any email accounts well then it is for sure to be private and only accessable by people who is close to him like family,close friends and important contacts. So as fans Sorry for we cannot chat with him.”
If you have 0 – 6 points…
“Yeah you should write to him and say hay how is it going …. and see what he writes dont sound to interested in him only if he flirts back … but tell him something nice like you have nice hair or something…. good luck.”
If you have 7 – 13 points...
“i think u should be like hey..then wait 4 his reply talk to him normal..like which school? ur age best member of ur family and stuff..then slowly slowly ask him if he is dating any1..and then be like y not?? i mean don’t u need sum1 in life..and this way u will not show that ur despo nor will it make u feel dumped..i did this 4 my boy and it worked..gud luck!!”
If you have 14 – 20 points…
“You should send him a wooden horse, and on it contains a message from your heart. How romantic is that. And then rob his house when he’s asleep.”