In today’s EOD roundup, we recognize that the week is almost over, we’re all tired, lawmakers are being creepy, and all we want to do is eat pizza and drink beer in housecoats, so we’re going to take it easy on you. But first, we’re going to make you weep until you look like the lost member of the California Raisins! The New York Times has published a tender and deeply personal tribute to Nora Ephron by her son, Jacob Bernstein. Forge ahead only if you have a box of tissues near you and have been properly hydrating all day.

In today’s EOD roundup, Kate Middleton might have slipped up and announced that she and Prince William are having a girl. After receiving a teddy bear as a gift, Middleton replied, “Thank you, I’ll take that for my d—,” before stopping herself. When asked if she was about to say “daughter,” Middleton remained coy and responded, “We’re not telling.” So Kate Middleton is having a daughter! Or maybe she’s not having a daughter! Either way, you can bet your bottom daughter that journalists be speculatin’! THIS IS NEWS!

If you’ve been a person on the Internet these past two days, presumably you’ve experienced some of the hoopla surrounding British writer Hilary Mantel’s comments about Kate Middleton. Media publications have assailed Mantel for “dissing” Middleton, mischaracterizing her nuanced analysis as “an astonishing and venomous attack,” “creepy…pot shots,” “snobby, inaccurate, and sexist.” Even the British prime minister, David Cameron, felt the need to address the cause célèbre, calling the author’s remarks “completely misguided and completely wrong.”

Martin Short was the host of Saturday Night Live this weekend, and it was an enjoyable episode. His sketch comedy chops made him seem less like a host and more like a bonus cast member. The best sketch of the night, for our money, featured Short as a liaison to the Queen and Bill Hader as the royal OB/GYN. Short proceeded to advise him on the proper protocol for dealing with the royal “Ahem,” including tipping one’s hat to it (but only if it tips its hat first).

“From what I can tell so far, the internet is just a place where people talk about me. I love it! But wait what’s love?”

Kate Middleton hasn’t had it easy with this silly topless picture scandal, but “Harry Potter” starlet insists the new royal is “awesome” and carrying herself with grace.

When I heard yesterday that bra-less snapshots of Duchess of Cambridge, Catherine had been published in French magazine Closer, I assumed someone had leaked a few dirty camera photos of the 30-year-old. Of course, Kate isn’t dumb enough to commit that particular faux pas. I read that the pictures were taken of Kate during her private trip, when she was sunbathing naked privately. Context is everything here, and the mag clearly violated the royal by parading around partially nude pics of her.

Great Britain is facing some political trouble — so who does the New Republic magazine exploit to relay this information to the world? Duchess of Cambridge Catherine, who appears to have decaying teeth on the July 12 issue of the publication as a symbol of the dark times Britain is currently experiencing. We’re not sure why the mag chose to publish an insulting doctored photo of the royal to get its point across, but we’re not happy about it. Here are other offensive and sexist magazine covers that have been really demeaning to women in politics.

EOD Saturday: We wrote last week about the underrepresentation of women in the film industry, and it looks like George Lucas heard our prayers. The legendary director is retiring, and LucasFilm announced a new co-chairman, Kathleen Kennedy.

If you’re Kate Middleton, you probably shouldn’t shop at Abercrombie & Fitch, as purchasing intentionally ripped clothing might tell The Daily Mail that you’ve stopped caring about your appearance and may need to be talked off the ledge soon.