It’s a well known stereotype that women love nothing more than the thrill of buying stuff.

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. is a national civil rights icon who was assassinated for his work combating racial inequality; is it a great idea is to celebrate him with marked down corduroys and “casual weekend wear”?

Ah, Black Friday: the time when Americans fight against their tryptophan hangovers and drag their swollen bodies (that at this point are merely engorged stomachs with heads, legs, and nagging desires for cheap flared jeans) to the closest mall at ungodly hours just to delight in slashed prices. It almost brings a tear to one’s eye. Yet, through all of my fistfights in the Target aisles for various accouterments, I always had a nagging feeling that I was missing something. Sure, I love saving cash but I also love learning and, of course, My Man. “If only there was a way to combine all three of my favorite things,” I would pine, pressing a Monster High doll crusted with the blood of my opponents to my cheek.

So my neighborhood gym offers a ton of classes that run the gamut from yoga to spinning to kickboxing. I wasn’t much of a group fitness person (I prefer to run, alone, very slowly over very short distances) but I just signed up and I like going to yoga class, so I figured I would try everything at least once, which is how I ended up in a Zumba class on a Thursday evening with a bunch of very friendly middle-aged ladies, a handful of other nervous-looking girls in their twenties, and an older Asian man who was not there to make friends; just there to crush some choreography.

Screw introspection and pass the data please. I don’t need therapy to figure out why I choose shoes I can’t afford or starving artist boyfriends (I also can’t afford.) Why not? Because I have science. In the scientific community’s endless romance with gender and “unlocking” how men and women behave differently, they continue to prove (unintentionally) that there just aren’t many differences and maybe they better choose a more modern field of research.