The Best Moments In Pop Culture This Year
12:30 pm, December 21st | by
Some real things happened in 2012; there was an election, the Olympic Games, a Frankenstorm for the ages, and the release of Oogieloves & the Big Balloon Adventure. However, in a few years (or months), we may forget the smaller events that managed to make 2012 the year that it was. Thatʼs where I come in. Allow me to present you with the Funniest Pop Culture Events of 2012. Hopefully the Mayans were wrong, because an apocalypse would be hilarious and my list would need updating (which would really inconvenience me during said apocalypse).
1.1. Rihanna Holds A Plane's Worth Of People Hostage
Was it madness? Was it genius? It was both. It was Rihanna.
Rihannas on a plane. The pop star decided to promote her latest album by taking a bunch of normal humans on a 777 plane to 7 countries for 7 concerts in 7 nights.
Initially, it was a blast; Rihanna was giving out diamonds and fancy champagne (honestly though, she could be pouring $5 bottles of Andre Brut into Dixie cups and Iʼd be like “OMG HOW DID I GET SO LUCKYYYYYY?!?!”) and being all perfect and awesome. And then the reality of a bunch of strangers trapped on a plane together for 7 straight days set in. And then Rihanna was napping a lot and not hanging out, so the journalists mutinied. One guy went streaking through
the cabin. And everyone on the ground was like, “Rihanna is holding a bunch of randoms
hostage on a plane and taking a bunch of naps, Rihanna must. Be. STOPPED." Shortly after this debacle, her album debuted at #1 on iTunes. So...her plan worked?
2.2. Kanye Goes To Kourtney's Baby Shower
Honestly, I could do an list entirely comprised of only Kim Kardashian & Kanye West moments. But the best one, even better than Kanye conquering Kimʼs wardrobe, was Kanye
attending Kourtney Kardashianʼs baby shower (youʼre so lucky, Penelope Scottland!). It was really weird to see him immersed in the Kardashian (K)world, in a universe where the men orbit around the women. Which is crazy, because Kanye is probably used to being orbited by a bunch of trumpeting cherubs and singing sparrows and wizards. One of the best quotes from the episode was when he earnestly said, “I feel awkward. [I'm] the only guy at the shower right now."
WHEN HAS KANYE WEST EVER FELT AWKWARD? This is the man who gets booed at Bulls games when he shows up late. I didnʼt realize he was capable of feeling awkward. History was made at that baby shower. THEN Khloe asked him, “Do you want to have kids?” and Kanye was like, "Yeah”, and I was like, “:) :) :) :) :)”. Kim and Kanye need to
have a brood of children so that I can be their nanny. 2013 is my year.
3.3. Liz & Dick, AKA My Favorite Christmas Movie
What hasnʼt been
said about this precious ruby of a ﬁlm? The only character choice Lindsay Lohan made in the entire movie was to get dressed. It was like watching paper dolls with LiLoʼs mugshot's face play Elizabeth Taylor. So of course I loved it. The script was so delightfully terrible (you crushed it, Lifetime!!!), and there was a LOT of yelling and yachts and fat ﬁngers and, I guess, romance? I knew I was in for a party as soon as they went into the “Inside The Dead Actorsʼ Studio” bit. Thatʼs the stuff of my dreams. I refuse to delete it from my DVR, but my roommates can't say anything because Iʼve
let one of them keep the “Smash” season ﬁnale on the DVR since it aired this summer. We all make sacriﬁces.
4.4. Channing Tatum Dances To Ginuwine
Let me just get this out there: I am not attracted to Channing Tatum. I went to see
Magic Mike because there is nothing that delights me more than camp, and this movie was campy as all hell. I donʼt think Iʼm being controversial when I say the best part of the movie was Channing Tatum dancing to Ginuwineʼs “Pony” as seriously as possible. Channing Tatum sliding around on his knees and grinding and dropping it and there was a pair of sweatpants involved and I donʼt even know what else happened because 45 seconds into the routine I blacked out. But I do know that I havenʼt been able to talk about anything else since.
5.5. Gabby Douglas Brings Hope To A Dreary VMAs
McKayla Is Not Impressed was The Meme of The Year. It was funny. I got into it. President Obama got into it. But that wasnʼt my favorite pop culture moment from the womenʼs Olympic gymnastics team. Post-Olympics, the Fierce Five made an appearance at the VMAs, and something extraordinary happened. During Alicia Keys's performance of “Girl on Fire”, Gabby Douglas, heeding the cries of Keys and Nicki Minaj, appeared out of nowhere (okay, she emerged from backstage, JUST WORK WITH ME) and started ﬂipping and jumping and killing it all over the stage.
Alicia Keys screaming “GABBYYYYYY DOOOUGLAAAAAS!!!!!” while she jumped all over the place was everything. I screamed and laughed and clapped and immediately texted at least one person. Now I canʼt hear that song on the radio without tearing up.
6.6. Rob Kardashian & Rihanna Weirdly Date For Five Minutes
I told myself that I would only pick one Rihanna story and one Kardashian story, but I canʼt help it. This one really ﬂew under the radar, probably because it was eclipsed by the sagas of Rita Ora and Chris Brown and Drake and high-fashion sock lines.
Anyway, Rob & RiRi were
spotted clubbing and go-karting this summer. I want literally nothing more out of my life than to go-karting with Rob Kardashian and clubbing with Rihanna. I feel like they both would be very intimidating situations (Iʼm a nervous driver and clubs make my asthma ﬂare up), but it would be worth it. What was Rihanna, the queen of pop, doing with Rob, the prince of crying in the snack pantry and
designing luxury socks? Iʼll tell you what happened: she read my Rihanna/Kardashian mash-up fan-ﬁc and decided to throw me a bone and get weird for a hot minute.
7.7. A Kid On Degrassi Overdoses On Milk
You know when youʼre like, “Man, I really do not want to go to hockey practice but I am plum out of excuses”?
Degrassi tackled this Very Important Issue in their new season this summer. Cam, a baby-faced little darling of a high school hockey star, decided the pressures of hockey were too much, and he would rather go sing karaoke with his girlfriend (THIS IS THE RIGHT CALL).
Early in the episode, his mom alluded to his lactose intolerance during a phone call, and I was like, “Uh, thanks for the info, writers.” But I shouldʼve known that it would come into play later because
Degrassi never leaves any loose ends. So when Cam decided that hockey practice was no longer his thing, he left the locker room, pulled out a carton of milk, and CHUGGED IT. And then, addict that he is, he waltzed into the locker room and vomited shamelessly in front of all of his teammates and got sent home. And then he went to karaoke with his friends. (His character really took a turn when he decided that OD-ing on milk was no longer enough and hurled himself off of a balcony at school. He only broke his arm, but like, whoa.)
8.8. Latrice Doesn't Move
After a few seasons of
RuPaulʼs Drag Race, the "Lip Sync For Your Life"s start to blend together. You have the girls who dance aggressively, the girls who jump into the splits (which canʼt be good for their tucks), the girls who remove their wigs and heels (amateurs), the girls who point a lot, and the girls who forget the lyrics.
And then you have Latrice Royale, one of the best-loved queens of all time, feet ﬁrmly planted, caressing her baby bump (it was a part of the challenge for that episode, let's move on), lip synching to “You Make Me Feel (Like a Natural Woman)” as though she wrote the song. Kenya Michaels, her competition, was thrashing around like a maniac and ripping her wig off while Latrice was like a Grecian column, if Grecian columns could lip sync. Naturally, Latrice won the battle, and was immortalized in
memes thenceforth, which is really the highest form of flattery in this day and age.
9.9. Clint Eastwood Talks To A Chair; A Generation Of Men Freak Out
When Britney Spears shaved her head and attacked paparazzi with an umbrella, I received many concerned text messages. Britney is my favorite pop star, and the roller coaster that has been her life always bummed me out. So when Clint Eastwood decided to
ramble at an empty chair for an inordinate amount of time during the Republican National Convention, I texted my dad immediately. The biggest Western star/movie director/hero to men everywhere no longer seemed like the coolest human ever. Not even his familyʼs E! reality show had discredited him. He was invincible up until The Chair Incident.
I think there was a small voice in all of our minds whispering, “Please let the chair talk back. Please let the chair talk back.” It never talked back. But just as I stood by Britney, my dad stood by Clint, responding “I wonʼt watch it.” If the empty chair speech is out of sight, the empty chair speech does not exist.
10.10. The Tupac Hologram
Coachella is a cesspool masquerading as an arts and music festival. If you want to experience true misery under the guise of being a free spirit for a weekend, go to Coachella. As someone who has been twice, I am allowed to say that it sucks. However, I was fairly disappointed when I didnʼt go this year that a HUMAN-SIZED HOLOGRAM was onstage — a
hologram of Tupac Shakur, no less. And while it has been done before ( heeeeey, Princess Leia!), the idea of a life-sized hologram singing and moving around onstage alongside real humans, who had to interact with said hologram, is so ridiculous and hysterical I can't even deal. I donʼt feel like doing research, but I bet it cost a bunch of clams to generate that mystical piece of art. Iʼm going to assume $40 billion. $40 billion for what can only be described as a My-Sized Tupac Sim. Iʼm glad it happened, mostly because I love "The Sims." I just hope the hologram trend doesnʼt actually take off, because no hologram will ever compare to the Tupac hologram. Except maybe if it was a hologram of me. Like I said, 2013 is my year.
JustJared, US Weekly, Celebitchy, EW, E! Online, JustJared, Degrassi Wiki, ChiTownStarConnections, The Atlantic, Vanguard Element]