Tina Brown On the Royal Birth: A Boy Was “the Perfect Thing”
4:15 pm, July 23rd | by Grace Rasmus
Okay; I’m not going to pretend I care too much about yesterday’s monarchal birth because I’m neither British nor the kind of person who can get worked up about a stranger’s baby, but I will say this: I was subconsciously hoping the baby would be a girl. Not in the name of feminism per se, but I thought it might be nice, for balance’s sake. The next two people in line for the throne are male; I thought it would be nice to mix it up. With that said, at the end of the day, I didn’t really have an opinion and I didn’t think anyone else would either, as long as the baby was healthy. After all, a 2011 change to royal succession ensured that the first born child of Prince William and Kate Middleton would eventually ascend to the throne regardless of gender (boo-ya), so why would anyone lose sleep over this?
Apparently I was wrong; people do have opinions on the matter — unreasonably strong opinions. Tina Brown, editor-in-chief of Newsweek, praised the Duchess of Cambridge on Tuesday morning for giving birth to a boy. According to Brown, the baby’s gender can help redeem the British royal family’s standing.
“As soon as William really kind of emerged into the public eye, you had this wholesome prince and his choice of Kate Middleton turns out to be absolutely impeccable,” Brown said during her appearance on Morning Joe. “I mean, once again, she does the perfect thing.”
Cringe. Alright, let’s ignore, for just one second, Brown’s insane suggestion that a boy is “the perfect thing” and a girl would’ve been…what? Let’s just take a trip down Bill Nye Road to Basic Biology Boulevard: Kate didn’t “do” the gender-assigning, Tina — if anyone “did” it, it was Prince William and his Y-chromosome-carrying sperm. Sure, historically Kate might have been beheaded for not clenching her fists and wishing for a boy hard enough, but let’s remember that THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY, PEOPLE.
Brown then shared some exclusive insider information she had gathered via her exclusive insider access to the Queen’s brain:
She gives us a prince. She gives [the country] a king. I mean, let’s face it, the Queen will be thrilled. She and the Duke of Edinburgh, much as they would have said they would have been fine with a girl first born, they really did want a boy and they got one.
She also tweeted about it. UGH. So we’re still arguing that men are more valuable, huh? Even though Britain has been expertly led by a woman for sixty-one years? Doesn’t anyone see how offensive this is?! Won’t anyone come to the defense of the unborn royal daughter? Nope, apparently not. CNN contributor Victoria Arbiter voiced similar praise for Middleton:
“My first thought, I have to say, this is how brilliant a royal Kate is,” she said. “There are women throughout British royal family history that have panicked over not being able to deliver a boy, and here we are, Kate did it first time.” Arbiter has since claimed that she said this in a tongue-in-cheek kind of way.