Tom Brokaw Might Be The Most Embarrassing Dad Ever
4:30 pm, June 14th | by Grace Rasmus
Apparently, Tom Brokaw and my dad have a lot in common. They’re both journalists, my mom has spotted each of them at a party at least once, and they’ve both raised only daughters after growing up in masculine households. I’m sure my father has a lot of ridiculous stories to tell after living in a house full of females for so long (he gets super excited when we bring boyfriends over for dinner just because there’s a fellow Y chromosome in the mix) but I’m thankful he doesn’t have a public forum to air these grievances as Brokaw does. If he did, my 16-year-old sister would probably actually literally die of embarrassment.
In honor of Father’s Day, TIME assembled a team of famous fathers to write open letters to their daughters. These letters were mostly sweet, albeit a bit boring, but Brokaw’s letter, as Gawker’s Caity Weaver wrote, is “a passive-aggressive master class in embarrassment.”
Brokaw starts out by telling his daughters how happy and proud he is to be their father and encouraging them to reach out to families without a father-figure this Father’s Day.
Then it gets to the UGH YOU’RE SO EMBARRASSING! part of the letter. First up is Brokaw’s daughter Andrea:
Andrea, did I yell when you left the keys to the family car on a back tire in the Bronx and it was promptly stolen? Maybe I would have been angrier had it not been just as promptly recovered.
Then it’s Sarah:
Sarah, we’ll always have that New Year’s Eve where I encountered your boyfriend walking through our house, drinking my precious magnum of Dom Perignon straight from the bottle.
And then it’s every daughter everywhere:
As you know, I grew up in a testosterone-fueled family of three boys with a construction foreman father, and not even my saintly mother could adequately convey the complexities of coming of age as a girl-woman.
The physical changes, the onset of menstruation, the attitude of adolescent boys, the hair, the cosmetics, the shoes (!)—and then, the greatest gift of all, pregnancy and birth.
Yup, there it is. He talked about their periods. In case the Bronx car theft and boyfriend liquor theft weren’t enough to make you cringe with empathy. Maybe this is okay since his daughters are all grown up and the statute of limitations on probably actually literally dying of embarrassment has passed, BUT STILL. This just seems like one more reason to never teach your dad how to do complex things on the Internet, lest he start a blog dedicated to sharing your totally cringe-worthy stories with the world.