You And Ryan Gosling Can Now Star Together In Your Own Erotic Novel
10:00 am, February 8th | by Amy Tennery
George Clooney taking you on a romantic moonlit walk on the beach. Maggie Gyllenhaal delicately pouring a glass of champagne for you, whilst gazing deeply into your eyes. Channing Tatum rescuing you from a burning building — shirtless.
Yes, all these famous people have better things to do. And if you’re like me, even coming up with any of those hypothetical, celebrity-based sexy scenarios makes you feel outrageously uncomfortable. Let’s face it: Erotic fanfic is a lot more difficult than it looks.
That’s why U Star Novels exists.
What is U Star Novels? Why, it’s only the greatest start-up company ever that we cannot believe didn’t exist till now! As the name would suggest, U Star Novels incorporates your choice of celebrity (Kirsten Bell, Steve Buscemi, whatever) and “up to 30 details about” you (you-star, get it?), for an ultra-personalized soft-core erotic novel. The “30 details,” according to a press release U Star sent out today, include things like your hometown, favorite wine, favorite perfume, hair color and… pet names.
But for those of you lucky enough to live across the pond, you have the option to choose from a “range” or romanticism — from “tame romantic to steamy.” U Star can cater to any erotic fantasy — from Megan Fox in a barely-there negligee to Ryan Gosling walking up and saying “Hi, I’m Ryan Gosling” and then maybe tousling his hair and… know what? Let’s quit while we’re ahead.