Veep’s Season Finale Taught Us the Worst Ways to Deal With Potential Job Loss
2:30 pm, June 24th | by Grace Rasmus
Phase 1: Selina decides to not run alongside POTUS in two years and instead run for president herself in six years. She tells her staff this news and warns them that they should start looking for other jobs.
Phase 2: Selina learns that the POTUS himself is not going to run for reelection in two years, freeing up her party’s spot. She rounds up her staff again to tell them to stop looking for other jobs and stay on her fast-track to the West Wing.
Phase 3: Selina hears that the President has changed his mind after his plans were leaked.
Phase 4: POTUS is on his way to the VP office (“Why is he coming here?! He never comes here!”) and Selina and her staff fear the worst.
Phase 5: They finally learn that POTUS will leave after all and Selina can run for president. Huzzah!
Now let’s take a look at what everyone did wrong in the meantime:
Burning Bridges: Dan was just so predictably Dan after hearing that he should look for a new job. At first he took the proper and ambitious step of calling everyone he knew. (Seriously. Everyone.) He even left Selina’s speech because of an urgent phone call… that he himself was making. “He’s not getting a call, is he? He’s making a call,” Selina mused when he left the room. However, Dan’s error was not in being overly ambitious; Dan’s misstep was when he got into an argument with Chung, the self-dubbed “President-in-Waiting,” after he told him he’d be staying with Selina. Chung told him he was “suicide bombing his own career” and Dan shot back “If I had a dollar for every time you mentioned that Goddamn war, I’d buy a tank and blow your fat fuckin’ head off.” Of course he got the text saying that POTUS was staying right at that moment and he realized that he had totally (temporarily) screwed himself over and chased Chung out the door.
Sucking Up: When Mike learned he had to look for a new job, he decided to suck up to one of the many asshats on this show, Congressman Roger Furlong. Furlong notoriously treats his assistant Will like scum, telling Mike that Will “moves slower than a Mississippi detective investigating the murder of a Black man” as they’re all about to go out for a run. Furlong wouldn’t give Mike a job after he failed to keep it a secret that Selina was leaving, proving that he was really, really bad at his current job as Director of Communications. So, thankfully, Mike didn’t have to end up working for that jackass and when Selina told everyone that she was going to run for prez, he shouted with joy, “Yes! I was THIS CLOSE to living on my boat!”
Giving Up: Amy, Amy, Amy. I did not expect this from her. The Veep’s Chief of Staff decided in Phase 1 that she wanted to take this opportunity to do “nothing” and instead hang out with her lame boyfriend whose name no one knows. (I guess I’ll call him “Gabe” since that was his character’s name on The Office.) “That night when you stayed over,” Amy said, “that was really nice! And I thought, yeah! This is something I could do for the rest of my life!” Gabe was hesitant, to say the least. But when the tables turned in Phase 2, so did the neediness. “Yeah, ignore that Little House on the Prairie bullshit from earlier,” Amy said. “Updated me? Totally career-focused and shootin’ for the White House.” Then we got the episode’s creepiest line, courtesy of Gabe: “You, Chief of Staff to the President. And me, chief of sexiness and spooning.” Ha, gross.
Making Promises: I definitely didn’t think Gary would look for a new job since he’s always been so loyal to Selina. But then I remembered his weirdo girlfriend Dana and it totally didn’t surprise me that they would make plans to go into business together. “D&G Cheese Overseas.” Nice. And then Dana totally flipped out when he told her in Phase 2 that he needed to back out of their business to stay with Selina. She said “NOOO NO NO” and insisted that he was choosing Selina over her while waving a knife in his face, eventually getting herself escorted out of the White House by the Secret Service. Yikes.
Beating Your Boss to the Punch: As the President walked over to the Veep’s office in Phase 4, Selina was royally freaking out because she thought he was going to kick her off the ticket. “Am I about to get whacked!?” She desperately called Mike into her office to write a statement about how she was going to leave the ticket before he kicked her off the ticket. “I’ve got to jump before I get stabbed in the back.” It would’ve been supremely messy if she had actually quit because he wasn’t firing her (obviously) but rather giving her the room she needed to run for president.
So if you’re ever in a situation where your job is on the line, be sure not to pull any of these dumb moves. Just keep calm, act like Sue, and be thankful that Veep was renewed for a third season so we can see more examples of what not to do.