Wealthy Investors Feel Poor if They Have Less Than $5 Million
12:46 pm, July 24th | by Colette McIntyre
Hey, you — you, who paid for an actual pedicure done by another person last night instead of going your normal route of just painting over the old, chipping “U Got It, Nude!” polish already covering your toes while watching Meerkat Manor; you, who has been feeling like the Duchess Mabel von Moneybags of Connaught ever since: UBS Investor Watch has an announcement for you! According to UBS’ new investor sentiment report, you are poor! [Balloons fall from the ceiling.] Now clean up this mess, you filthy pauper! …That is, unless you have $5 million, the amount that respondents said it takes to feel wealthy, in which case, would you be interested in investing in my Full House-themed nail polish collection? “Cut It Out Coral” looks like your shade.
The survey of 4,500 affluent investors also found that two-thirds of millionaires, meaning those with at least $1 million in investable assets, don’t consider themselves to be wealthy. Going against everything I learned from the “Poor Little Rich Guy/Girl” archetype in movies/TV, investors said that they begin to feel “wealthy” when they have “no constraints on activities,” not “when my gruff, irascible father attends the dance benefit I have planned all on my own, against the company and financial planners’ advice, and, upon seeing my success, finally gives me the approval I’ve desired for so long.” Personally, I would feel wealthy once I could stand on a restaurant banquette and shout, “quickly, barkeep — fetch a flagon of drink for every head in this establishment and put it on my tab,” but we all have our own truths to live, our own bliss to follow, etc.
Interestingly, a majority of the investors surveyed are optimistic about the economy and their own financial well-being which, as ThinkProgress points out, differs dramatically from the general population, i.e. the Betty to these investors’ Veronica. A recent Gallup poll shows that 50 percent of Americans believe the economy is getting worse. To be fair, I’m sure it’s easier to have faith in the economy when you aren’t the modern day equivalent of a Dickensian street urchin, trading gummy smiles for ha’pennies or payments on your student loans.