What To Buy Before The World Ends

Buy This! It's Good For You!

What To Buy Before The World Ends

1:30 pm, December 14th | by Sarah Devlin

True, NASA says there’s no way the world is going to end on December 21st, 2012. That hasn’t stopped a bunch of hysterics from becoming obsessed with the impending apocalypse, however. The big day is only a week away — what to do if you’re getting nervous? Shop the pain away, duh.

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1.Snacks (On Snacks On Snacks)

Assuming you survive, it's probably going to be a long time before you come across a working stove or microwave. Bonus: prepackaged snacks can be ripped open and consumed while on the run from monsters (not super clear on what this whole Mayan apocalypse entails).

2.A Plane

It worked for John Cusack in 2012. Put it on a credit card. After 12/21 it's whatever, right?

3.A Guitar

If you survive alone, or if you're with other people, you'll be grateful to have something to do. You can either play for the group or teach yourself, at which point your fellow survivors can band together to kill and eat you.

4.Gum

Since you may not be near a toothbrush/toothpaste ~~anytime soon~~ ever, this will help slow tooth decay. Sorry about the IBS, though.

5.GOLD!

In the words of Glenn Beck, "Before I started turning you on to Goldline, I wanted to look them in the eye. This is a top notch organization that's been in business since 1960." Solid advice. Plus after the apocalypse there is an opening for someone to be king — gold will probably help with that.

6.A Copy Of Robinson Crusoe

It will do you good to read about the man whose life ended as he knew it and who was able to start over. Maybe this time without the racism, though.

7.Apocalypse Wine

All of these items are important, but this one is the MOST important.

There you have it! You'll probably be fine, but it never hurts to be prepared. Also, there's no way that Apocalypse Wine is going to go to waste, end of the world or not.