What We Gleaned From the Teaser Trailer for Girls Season 3
4:11 pm, August 19th | by Colette McIntyre
Good news: HBO has just released a video for the upcoming season of Girls! Bad news: the trailer, which is made up of Instagram-inspired production shots, reveals very little.
Because we simply cannot wait until 2014, we’re going to do some extrapolation based on the very little — very little — that we have.
1. Jesse Peretz is the director of episode 307! Who is Jesse Peretz? That’s a good question that we only now know the answer to because we Googled his name! #TheInternet! Peretz directed three episodes of Girls Season 2. He also directed Our Idiot Brother. As well as something called The Château, which, to me, sounded like it was either a horror movie or an erotic thriller. Either way, I was sure that it starred Ethan Hawke. In fact, The Château is a rom-com starring Paul Rudd. Peretz was also in an episode of Making The Video: he was the director of the Foo Fighter’s “The One”! He’s the son of Marty Peretz, former editor of The New Republic. He has an amazing head of hair, hair that makes me trust him, hair that already has me halfway to Laughsville.
2. It appears that the gang goes to a beach in Episode 307. Jesse Peretz seems like he knows a thing or two about day drinking at the beach. I bet he has gone to the beach with Paul Rudd before. I bet Paul Rudd is the kind of guy who brings a boom box to the beach and plays all the right jams, like Sugar Ray’s “Fly” and Foghat’s “Slow Ride”.
3. Andrew is back! And his shirt is unbuttoned! And his chest is sleeeeeek.
4. Hannah makes some silly faces. Oh man, that girl is a quirky mess of anxieties and insecurities, just figuring it out, just getting it together; Hannahs are just like us, Hannah is people!
5. The beach has water!
6. There is champagne. Champagne means celebration. Someone is celebrating something that someone did or that happened to someone or that they did or that happened to them. You can’t pull the wool over my eyes, Lena Dunham!
7. Adam and Hannah hug right after the champagne celebration SO, ERGO, IPSO FACTO, THUS, THEREFORE the champagne celebration is for them, they are married, season 3 is all about Hannah’s life of quiet domesticity in the suburbs, you’re welcome — Colette McIntyre, TV detective.
8. Hannah wears a bikini! YES! I may have my issues with Lena Dunham and Girls but I simply adore her commitment to stick it to the body-snarking media. Lena & her bikini are going to pick up all of the hater’s dropped jaws, pulverize the bones, and use the dust in their sand castles.
9. Andrew does push ups on a square of grass in front of lounge chairs. So season 3 revels that Girls is actually a Pete & Pete sequel and Andrew is the son of Artie, the strongest man in the world! Or this season is all about challenging deeply entrenched ideas and representations of masculinity. Or both. Or neither.
10. Shoshanna rocks a well-formed bun (is it a sock bun? Knowing her, it is probably a sock bun) and walks angrily or excitedly or sadly or apathetically in an elevator and goes up or down or walks right out because she realizes that the elevator is going up when she wants to go down, or vice versa or she gets stuck in the elevator with the Devil and dies.
11. Hannah wears a trucker hat that I believe says “Birthday Bitch.” So she was born on a day! Perhaps the champagne celebration is about her birthday? NOW WE ARE GETTING SOMEWHERE!
12. Marnie wears a long fancy dress and waves to someone. This one is so obvious, I’m not even going to waste my time talking about it.