What Your Internet Activity Says About Your Relationship Status
11:07 am, September 11th | by Colette McIntyre
So the other night, while the two of you were intertwined in a lover’s embrace and talking about your dream pizza toppings (SPRINKLE ANOTHER PIZZA ON MY PIZZA!), the person who you’ve been casually hooking up with since July said something about “making things more official.” You felt triumphant. Yet, upon waking this morning, you noticed that you’re still single on Facebook and, come to think of it, they never posted a photo of you on their Instagram, so now you are spiraling into a vacuum of doubt and madness, eating bowl after bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch (reasoning with yourself that if there is milk left in the bowl, the only reasonable thing to do is add more cereal) while you refresh your news feed.
In this Funny or Die sketch, Cynthia Kao, Charlene deGuzman and SNACK CLUB explain what it means when your kinda-sorta-maybe significant other (?) doesn’t change their relationship status online or pin your clomp on Clamp Stamp.